One of my New Year’s Resolutions for 2019 was to have a better social media presence. The only accounts I had back in January were a poorly taken care of Facebook, a private Snapchat, and a YouTube account that I never posted on. By May, I had made myself a LinkedIn – although I’m embarrassed to say it hasn’t seen much of the light of day since then – and a Handshake account. The one social media that I was really apprehensive about was Instagram.
I had been dreading making one since I decided I was going back in January; simply put I was scared. I was a 20-year-old adult who had never been a part of an entirely new culture before, and I was nervous that I would post too often, or not enough to put myself out there. I asked for help from my roommates and friends, being the old-lady at heart that I am, and finally started my account back in March. I started posting once a week to catch up on the number of posts that people who had been on here for years had.
And now it is September, and I have been using this app for half a year. I certainly have some conclusions as to how my life has changed after finally succumbing to Instagram, for better or for worse. Instagram has definitely made me see myself and the world around me in different ways. I look at outings with my friends, special events and occasions in different lightings; I’m always on the hunt for an interesting photo, even if it is just my own inner dialogue.
I stress about the weekends when they arrive because those are the deadlines I have set for myself for when I should be posting each week. I have at least a month’s worth of back-up photos just in case I haven’t done anything I deem “interesting” enough for my feed. I have learned how to edit photos with professional software, just to get the correct subtle changes in lighting and mood that I want. Only now am I finally getting good enough at taking photos that I don’t feel the need to edit them anymore.
I look at my life now, more in some aspects, as waves of experiences. In some aspects, I’m pleased that I’ve put my very introverted self out into the world for everyone to see, but it has put a level of anxiety into my life that I had never realized could be possible from one little app. Will I continue to use it? I think so, a part of my subconscious has already succumbed to its inherently addictive nature. It’s important for artists and writers such as myself to be available on such platforms, but I’m already at the point where I want to take a break. To everyone who has been here since the beginning, I salute you, I don’t know how you’ve done it for so long.
Instagram is a whole other culture, a whole other world that I’ve had to learn and I think I’m finally catching on. My hope is that I will not be afraid of it in a year’s time.