This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at App State chapter.
Lesson Learned: Walking away from negative people.
I made a friend my freshman year that was, well great on paper, we’ll call him Ken. He was serious about his studies, rock climbing, eating healthy and of course listening to me complain or brag about every last thing that had happened to me that week. Our entire freshman year, we listened to each other complain about guys and girls that were driving us up the walls because hey, dating in college is difficult.
Now the spring of my freshman year, I was kind of dating a guy we’ll refer to as Jim Bob. Now Jim Bob didn’t understand me spending time with friends and partaking of adult beverages. So, like a huge jerk, he texted me “this isn’t really working for me,’ and I responded “K,” end of story.
After this happened, Ken told me about how Jim Bib was a jerk. I thoroughly agreed.
Fast forward to sophomore year. That fall I ended up finding myself casually involved with Jim Bob once again. A mistake I needed to make to fully learn for myself that he was an idiot.
Ken stopped talking to me.
Once things with Jim Bob simmered down once again, I found myself worrying about Ken and feeling awful for not listening to him. I believed his actions were my fault.
After a semester of not talking, I apologized to Ken for not listening to him about Jim Bob, and all was well. Sort of.
The entire spring semester and following fall semester, he constantly reminded me of how I was awful and stupid for not listening to him. I felt like I was a terrible human being for all those month every time we spoke. I ended up making Ken angry again by not having a ride to his 21st birthday (which was in Blowing Rock, mind you) and therefore not going.
He texted me “thanks for coming,” we stopped speaking again.
I highly valued my friendship with Ken while it lasted, because I learned something. I learned that I didn’t need to surround myself with negative friends. I felt horrible for things that were my own choice. I felt horrible because he made me feel like a lesser human for making my own choices instead of his.
Sometimes we need to learn to take care of ourselves. Sometimes that can mean changing some of the people we let into our lives.
(Names have been changed to protect the good, the bad, and the ugly.)