The Seeker

The division between who I want to be and who I am at this moment. Looking at the challenges that present themselves before me, it seems that the person I want to be is so obscure that I can’t even recognize her figure. It seems that we think we know who we want to be, but it’s not something that we can see manifested psychically. 

The circumstances of life make our values change and morphe, causing our passions and hopes to change as well. As a freshman, I have struggled to figure out my major and feel good about the career I am pursuing. I’m a journalism major, a somewhat dying profession, and usually, when I tell adults, they tell me, “wow, that’s brave.” The world in which adults present the future is indicating: it’s cutthroat and unfriendly. At the same time, most students know that their degree will not land them a career, making the stakes even higher to succeed. But what is success? 

The world tries to tell us that money equals success and success equals happiness. This equation is not absolute, though. The accumulation of capital and possessions tempts our egos into false equivalency of happiness and turns our ambitions and passions into greed. My definition of success is doing what I’m passionate about without harming others in the process; simply living a happy life and adapting to change quickly. When we accept that our definitions of success will be different, we can respect that the people around us aren’t our competitors but our fellow world citizens. If success and money break free from synchronicity, we allow ourselves to have the freedom to explore the colossal avenues of opportunities.

My definition of success is doing what I’m passionate about without harming others in the process

In my experience so far in college, I have found hope in not knowing exactly what I want to do. Although I come from a place of privilege, I seek to use my college experience to grow as a citizen of the world and find my passions. I had to take the pressure off myself because I was striving to become someone who didn’t even exist. The love I feel for the person I am in this moment is vast and accepting of my fallibility. 

Fixation on the exact version of yourself you want to be in the future takes away from the person you are in this moment. If you are only seeking opportunities in your blueprint for life, you may miss out on things that you could be more passionate about. I feel overwhelmed because I want to study and learn so many things, my interests outweigh my disinterest and the years keep passing away. To have an open mind allows for your path to stray without getting lost. Embrace the impulsiveness of life because exploration of this world is necessary for living and breathing. You will change, again and again; simultaneously, you will always remain you, an accumulation of past interest and challenges. The you that you are in this moment is the most valid version of yourself because it is all that exists. Switch your mind from chasing the ideal life, and let yourself wander into the beauties of life.

Embrace the impulsiveness of life… exploration of this world is necessary for living and breathing

• overcoming challenges
• self confidence
• self esteem
• self image
• self worth
• self-identity