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Shy or Outspoken: What Guys Prefer and Why

This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at App State chapter.

Have you ever worried about how you came across to guys? All girls have! Maybe you’re the type who feels uncomfortable starting a conversation with a boy you don’t know, or perhaps you are the “loud and proud” type and are more than willing to take charge in a conversation. Regardless of which personality you tend to align with, you have nothing to worry about. Much like us girls, guys have different preferences when they’re looking for that special someone. Here are the top three reasons why it’s good to be shy or outgoing:

3 Reasons Why it’s Good to be Shy

1. Easy Going
According to a lot of guys, soft spoken girls can be considered way easier to talk to. When speaking with someone who is a skilled conversationalist, it’s easy to feel embarrassed when you say something dumb, stutter, or mispronounce a word. With the quiet girls, all the pressure is off. They appear more accepting of those mistakes, as they aren’t the type to be incredibly outgoing as it is.

“I prefer the soft spoken girls because that is more like my personality and I feel they’re easier to talk to and get along with. Also, some outspoken girls can be annoying and obnoxious if they are too outspoken.” – Ryan Eubanks, junior

2. Cool and Collected
Just because you aren’t the center of attention doesn’t mean your confidence isn’t shining through! A lot of guys feel that girls who don’t need constant attention appear to be more confident because they don’t need all eyes on them to be content.  It shows that you don’t need a person’s approval to have a good time.  Many guys will notice this comfortableness you have with yourself and find it totally attractive.
 
“I like soft spoken girls. Why? Because I am a shy person as well. Those kinds of girls appeal to me more because they don’t show off as much. Also, girls that are more outspoken tend to lose control of themselves. They will do whatever it takes for people to “like” them.” – Joe Kostura, senior
 
3. Winning Personality
Plenty of guys like the soft spoken girls because they appear to be more selfless, kind, and humble. These girls are not the type to go on a twenty minute rant about how bad their day has been. Instead, they are natural listeners and are eager to help those who need their attention.

“I personally like the soft spoken girls, mostly because they are usually more genuine and humble. For instance, if I go on a date with an outspoken girl, the conversations get very dull because all she wants to do is talk about herself when it’s a two way conversation. Soft spoken girls are great listeners, too, which is a plus!” – Kirk Brown, junior

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3 Reasons Why It’s Good to be Outgoing

1. Open minded
It’s great to be an outgoing girl, too! Lots of guys will find these girls more willing to be spontaneous and try new things. A girl who can talk to anybody appears to be accepting of all people and ideas, regardless of how “different” they may seem to the common person.

“I like outgoing girls. I tend to enjoy spending time with people who can talk to anyone in the room. They seem to be open about more things, more so than soft spoken people are.” – Brayden Hawkins, sophomore

2. Honesty
As an outspoken girl, many guys will expect you to be extremely opinionated and never afraid to say what you’re thinking. Having a girl who only responds with an “I’m fine” rather than saying what’s really going on can be very frustrating and unappealing.  So be blunt and honest, plenty of guys love it!

 “I prefer outspoken girls because they express how they feel and what is on their mind. As a guy, one of the biggest wonders is just that…what’s on a girl’s mind. Simple!” – Matthew Rupp, senior

3. Life of the party
As a talkative and outgoing person, it’s easy to be the life of the party. Guys find it attractive when a girl can hold her own in a conversation and doesn’t cling to his side at social events. Use your friendliness to your advantage! Work the room and talk to plenty of people. The boys will love your confidence!

“I would prefer an outgoing girl because I’d rather have someone who can help entertain as oppose to me being the one creating all the fun.” – Greg Long, junior
 
Don’t worry, you’ll find that boy who‘s crazy about you just the way you are, shy or outspoken. In the mean time, just be yourself, confident, and happy, and you’re sure to catch his eye. 

Laura Maddox is a Senior at Appalachian State University. Laura was born and raised in Charlotte, NC but loves the mountain air in Boone. She is one of four kids and has an identical twin sister. Laura enjoys reading, fashion, blogging, traveling, chocolate, lots of coffee and riding in the car with the windows down. She has a knack for creative writing, doodling and procrastination. Laura plans on moving to Boston after graduation to pursue a career in the advertising industry as a copywriter. Laura loves APP and will always be a Mountaineer fan!