Okay readers, let’s get real. We’ve all tried staying “good friends” with an ex. It sounds reasonable, right? Maybe you were with this guy for a while and couldn’t imagine your life without him on the sideline, or maybe he’s told you that he “really needs you” despite your break up. As tempting as it is to stick around, it is always the smarter choice to walk away.
Here are the top 4 reasons why you can’t stay friends with an ex:
1. Attraction
There was something about your ex that caught your eye from the beginning. Maybe he had a gorgeous smile, dressed a certain way, or had those perfect blue eyes. Whatever the case may be, just because you two have broken up does not mean that the attraction shattered too. You’re always going to find him irresistible in some way, whether you like to admit it or not. If you have to see this guy on a regular basis, that attraction won’t be able to fade with time. There are plenty of cute guys out there who you don’t have a past with, so do yourself a favor and hang out with them instead!
2. Attachment
When you choose to stay good friends with an ex, it’s going to be hard to get the “we’re together” thoughts out of your head. Maybe you hang around this guy because it’s comfortable, but that doesn’t mean it’s what’s best for you. It’s always hard to give up someone who was dear to you, but with time that attachment will break, and you can truly move on with your life. Don’t think of it as losing a friend; think of it as not letting your past affect your present!
3. Old Habits Die Hard
When you’re in a relationship, it’s only natural to be affectionate with whoever you’re with. So what would you do if your ex-boyfriend/new-just-friend skewed the lines of your friendship and tried to act affectionate towards you? It’s easy to drift back into the old routine out of habit, but don’t just give in! By avoiding situations like these, you’re sure to also avoid confusion and heartache on both ends.
4. Mixed Signals
Choosing to stay good friends with an ex can also get in the way of you dating other people. Think about it: if a guy sees you constantly hanging around with your old fling, what message is that going to send him? You’re basically screaming “I’m still into my ex, so don’t bother!” Who wants to take a chance on someone who still hangs out with their ex boyfriend on a regular basis? That’s never the message you want to send to a guy, especially if you are looking for something new.
Take it from us, collegiettes™. It’s always better to move on from your past and don’t look back, even if it is hard. Sure, you lost a guy, but what you’ve gained is so much more important: freedom, independence, and an inner strength that you never knew you had.