I’m that friend who’s really good at giving relationship advice, even though I’ve never been in an actual relationship. So, with that being said, I think that gives me more than enough experience to write this article. Here’s 8 reasons why you may be single. If you’re like me, you probably fall into one or more of these categories.
1.You’re Shy.
I think everyone has fallen into this category at one point in time. You’re that girl who’d be able to girlfriend the shit out of someone, but you’re too shy to make it happen. Either you’re afraid to talk to guys, you’re nervous when you do talk to guys or you just give them a slight smile and keep quiet. Don’t be afraid to put yourself out there. I know it’s easier said than done, but trust me there’s no way you’re going to find the right one if you never talk to anyone. I know for me personally I’m afraid to put myself out there because I feel that I might not be enough. I’m not going to be pretty enough, or thin enough, or smart enough or funny enough. I’m scared of rejection and that’s caused me to miss out on some great dating opportunities. Great opportunities to learn from. But I’m starting to realize that I can’t be afraid to put myself out there because I don’t know what the future holds. All it takes is a little leap of faith. What’s the worse that could happen?
2. You’re One of the Guys (Friend Zone).
You’re always the friend, never the girlfriend or you’re one of the guys. Your guy friends always come to you for relationship advice. I lived most my life in the friend zone. It’s a very difficult position to be in because you have full access and privileges to him that even his girlfriend doesn’t have. You’re emotionally invested in him, but he doesn’t see you as more than the friend. Or worse the dreaded, “You’re like my sister”. Oh hell no! You deserve better ladies, trust me. He keeps you around as a security blanket, he knows you’re always going to be there for him and he can depend on him. But you deserve to be happy too! Either you tell him how you feel and try to get out of the friend zone. Or distance yourself because you’re never going to find the right guy for you if you’re in love with your best friend. Waiting on him to notice that you guys should be together isn’t fair to you.
3. You’re a Bitch (Insecure).
If you’re the girl who’s a Bitch this can mean many things. 1. You’re never in a relationship because once you are, you turn into a psychopath. We all have that friend or have heard of that girl who meets a guy and everything is great, but as soon as they make it official turn into Hitler. I’m talking full dictatorship here. Checking his phone, following his social media constantly trying to see who follows or likes his pics, keeping tabs on him 24/7, doesn’t like it when he talks to other girls. This usually has more to do with her emotional stability then her actually being a bitch. Maybe she was in a past relationship that messed her up pretty bad. Maybe she’s an extremely strong girl who’s built a wall to stop her from being hurt. In that case, she’s not a bitch she’s just broken or insecure and it’s hard to fix a broken person. It’s hard to make and tell someone they’re amazing when they don’t even believe it themselves. It takes time and effort and a lot of patience.
4. Your standards are too high.
I’m not saying don’t have standards or you should settle because no one deserves less than what they deserve. These are the girls who have a huge list of what they want their guy to do, be, look like and it’s just completely unreasonable. Sometimes all the things you’re looking for are all superficial. What good is a gorgeous guy if he’s empty on the inside. You need to give everyone a chance because you have no idea if what you want is what you need. You might just surprise yourself and find the guy you’re looking for who doesn’t meet anything on your list. Let’s be real ladies we’re what 18-22 years old. A guy isn’t going to have his life put together just yet. We are broke college students trying to balance school, social life and our sanity one step at a time. You shouldn’t be looking for Mr. Right because at this age he doesn’t exist. You need to be looking for Mr. Potential. A guy who has goals, dreams and ambition. Someone who isn’t all put together right now, but in a couple of years will have his life where he wants it to be. Isn’t that what college is for anyway? To prepare you for the life you want. It’s all about personal growth. Keep that in mind the next time you turn down the nice guy from your English class because he rides a bike instead of an expensive car. Besides you need to use every dating experience to figure out what you want.
5. You fall hard (aka Clingy).
Desperation radiates far stronger than confidence. You’re the kind of girl who jumps right into things, falls really hard and doesn’t look down to see if there’s a safety neat to catch you. No one likes a clinger! It shouldn’t feel like the other person is being held captive, imprisoned or suffocating for dear life. Sending him text message after text message, sweetheart I guarantee you he got the first one and the second. Most times when I see a girl who’s being really clingy it’s because she’s insecure. She’s a girl who doesn’t know how special she is. You cling onto the guy because you feel that you don’t deserve him or that you’re lucky to be in a relationship. You need to stop right there because any guy would be lucky to have you. He should be the one texting you multiple times in the row. He should be chasing after you. You know why, because you’re a goddess and he’s lucky just to be in your presence. How will you know how you should be treated if you don’t set any standards for yourself? You need to believe that you’re amazing before someone can treat you like your amazing.
6. You’re a hopeless romantic.
You live for a good Disney princess movie. Or a romance movie where the girl gets the guy in the end with him professing his undying love for her. Babe, wake up and smell reality. Love is nothing like the movies. It’s not perfect, sometimes it’s hard work. It’s blood, sweat, tears and tons of ice cream, but it’s worth it in the end. Don’t go looking for a prince when life is full of court men. This doesn’t mean you should settle when life is handing you frogs either. I’m just saying that every love story is different and you need to write your own. Sometimes it’s not going to be pretty and sparkly. You’re dreaming if you’re searching for a love that happens in the movies. Because let me tell you, it’s all fiction made up to please your sentimental side. Now I don’t want to sound like a complete pessimist and by no means am I saying love doesn’t exist. It 1000% does exist. It’s real and beautiful and you’re lucky if you’re able to experience it. All I’m saying, is that most times it’s not coming to you wrapped in a bow.
7. You haven’t met him yet.
I know if you’re like me and you haven’t been in a relationship for a long time you’re starting to give up hope. You see all your friends experiencing new relationships while your love life feels like it’s stuck on pause. Don’t give up just yet. There’s nothing wrong with you, you just haven’t met your guy yet. I promise you, he’s out there and like they say when you stop looking that’s when you’ll find him. So focus on making yourself a better person. Focus on you so that when you do meet him you’re a better person for him. That’s what I’m doing. I’m keeping the faith that he’s out there somewhere. I know this whole wait will all be worth it when I finally do find him. All it takes is the right place at the right time for your life to change forever. Am I the only person who goes somewhere and thinks “my future husband could be here right now.” Ohh no one else does that… okay haha. I guess I’m alone in that one. I just find it amazing that we go through life passing so many people and we have no idea if we’ve passed our other half, or future friends, colleagues or people who will one day impact our life in someway. The world is huge filled with almost 8 billion people and I’m sure you haven’t even met ⅓ of them yet. So don’t be so bummed if you’ve been single for a while.
8. You don’t want a boyfriend.
I think sometimes people tend to forget that dating is a choice that someone makes. You can choose to be single, guys do it all the time, and no one bats an eyelash or asks them why. Maybe you’ve been in far too many failed relationships and you want to figure out why. Maybe you’ve lost yourself along the way and you want to figure out what you want. Or maybe you just don’t want to date, simple as that. Whatever reason it is, it’s your choice. You don’t want to be in a relationship, that’s fine just make sure that that’s really the reason you don’t want to. Make sure it’s not out of fear, anger, rejection or anything else.