Riddle me this: why do I always miss the fights? I went to a miniscule high school so there was probably about half a fight a year, but regardless, when there was a fight, it was like something magnetically pulled me in the opposite direction. Clearly things haven’t changed since I came to college. Since my freshman year I have braved countless football games, rain or shine (rain in Tucson?). Yet the one time I don’t go because my couch was just feeling way too comfortable, half the football team and UCLA decide to throw down two seconds before half time. Thank goodness for YouTube right?
           Anyway, from what I hear last week’s football game was extremely eventful. Just as I was ready to hang up my ZonaZoo football pass right next to Mike Stoop’s white visor, Tim Kish wants to come out and slap me with my own doubt. In his first game as interim head coach Kish coached an almost unrecognizable team that ended the game with a score of 42-7. Unfortunately, we also ended the game with four suspended defensive backs. In this upcoming Saturday’s game in Seattle, Shaquille Richardson and Jourdan Grandon will be sitting out while Mark Watley and Lyle Brown will be missing in action for the first half. UCLA also walked away (hobbled away?) with seven suspended players. About the fight Kish states “I’m disappointed for Arizona and UCLA,” he said. “The altercation was a black mark on what was a good game for us. We know that players get excited and driven during games, but composure has to be maintained throughout. We’ll learn from this and grow.”
           I think what Kish was really trying to say is that testosterone leads to nothing but trouble. Let’s be real though coach we all know why emotions were so high. With Mike Stoops missing from the sidelines flailing his arms around, spitting gum, and turning a bright shade of Arizona red, somebody had to be an emotional train wreck. Enough about him though, this Saturday the cats will be taking on conference opponents, the Washington Huskies in an away game. The Huskies are currently 4-0 at home this season. If we can pull out a win it will be our first away conference victory since last October and the beginning of a much needed run in order to make it to a bowl game. In our next six games the cats will need a winning record of 5-1 to make the post season. The game is scheduled for Saturday, October 29, at 7:30 p.m. Hopefully, were in for a show out by the same team we saw last week minus the brawl.
           I think I owe it naked people all over the world though to mention the real star of that game. Yes, I am talking about streaker/faux referee Jacen Lankow. Lankow is a 23-year-old University of Arizona senior who made his debut last week when he snuck onto the field disguised as a referee. Lankow than proceeded to strip down to a speedo and run across the field until security finally tackled him. I know last week I stated my disgust for man thighs, but I’ll modify that statement and say there is a time and a place for them and yes, this is a perfectly appropriate time for man thighs to be out and about. Lankow, who has been interviewed via skype date by the one and only Jimmy Kimmel has a preliminary hearing November 10th and may be charged with a felony. The felony is criminal impersonation. I was a referee my freshman year for Halloween and I wasn’t arrested. Just saying. However if Lankow is convicted he can be facing up to a year and a half in prison but with his clean record the charges will hopefully be dropped down to a misdemeanor. Lankow admits that his original plan was to get the football, strip, score a touchdown and perform a celebratory dance. Instead he ended up being tackled from behind wearing nothing but a speedo. One more time riddle me this: how come nobody tackles the oo-aah man at basketball games when he starts stripping? Bear down wildcats! (Just not down to your underwear please)