Once upon a time, I would spend countless hours crying, moping and dragging on break ups. Growing up in the south, you can’t deny that at least once a week you see an engagement or new relationship on Facebook. I can’t fathom how anyone at 21 is ready for marriage, but hey to each their own. However this article isn’t for those girls. This is for all those girly pop bosses who now realize that every relationship they have been in was a complete and utter mistake. Not to say they didn’t teach us valuable lessons, however when I think back to all the deadbeats I’ve dated who swiped daddy’s credit card more often than they went to class, I slightly cringe. Is ambition that lacking in society that we have to deduce ourselves to being with people that we can merely settle with?
One of my dear friends who is doing bomb.com things in her life said to me over dinner, “I wish I could find a guy that I could settle for.” I ALMOST SLAPPED HER NO LIE. Societal pressure is real people, and the fear of ending up alone is real. Below is a definitive list of reasons as to why instead of staying with a low-life or settling for the wrong guy, that buying a cat is a much better choice.
1. Cats give sloppy kisses just like your drunken ex, and you’re just sitting there like, “WOW I love my cat!” not, “Ew you smell like Jim Beam”.
2. When you tell your sweetie that you aren’t in the mood and that your face is *ahem* up here, they get mad! Cats on the other hand? They dont even know what you’re saying!
3. When you catch “bae” cheating and you want to strangle him, you can’t because thats illegal! But hey, a cat only lives with you so it can’t cheat. Ever.
4. That guy who wants to just go hit up the bars every night?? Yeah, well your cat is always there to have couch snuggles.
5. When your douche ex tells you he wants you back, it’s totally not okay to slap him silly. However a cat? You annoy your cat, they will tell you exactly what TF is up with no apologies, take notes.
6. Unlike that super hot guy from your American Government class who is beating around the bush with his subtle flirtations, a cat? A cat knows what it wants and pounces. Even if it’s just your foot under the covers.
7. When your unworthy SO gets mad at you, and you are just sitting there in awe of their studpitidy? Yeah cats? They dont get mad because they understand that you feed them. They don’t f*&% with their food supply.
8. When you had a really really bad day and all you want is some words of enouragement and a home cooked meal?! Yeah your cat is there to listen to you vent and cry. They can’t cook.. but hey, neither can your *nonexistent* boyfriend.
Adopt a cat today from Fayetteville Animal Services today! Follow them on FB for updates.