Learning As I Go: Care About Your Underwear (and Yourself)

We all love to indulge, especially during times of celebration or stress.  It is your birthday or vacation time?  Get your nails done.  You had a bad day or have gone through a break up?  Go shopping.  We each have our ultimate indulgence, that one thing that is the best “pick-me-up” of all.  Some women get facials.  Some prefer expensive shoes.  And while I love all of these things, my ultimate indulgence is underwear.  I know, it sounds crazy but I’m not kidding.  For about 4 years, I have known I had an obsession.  I read books about lingerie and pajamas.  I save for months at a time for one piece.  I can tell you the difference between a t-string, v-string, and a g-string.  I am firm believer that every woman needs to invest in something sexy and beautiful, even if she is the only one seeing it.  It doesn’t matter if it is underwear, a slip, or a matching pajama set, I am a collector.  Places like Victoria’s Secret have products that can not even stand up against the intricate designed, 100% silk masterpieces I’ve seen, tried on, and can occasionally own.  It truly does not matter if you are wearing sweat pants and a t-shirt, when you have something pretty on underneath that makes you feel great, you feel good in whatever else you are wearing.  I do not see any shame in buying a silk slip to sleep in and being the only person to see it.  This is just something I think all women should purchase for themselves.

When a high-end lingerie and swimsuit store opened in Little Rock, I was thrilled.  It is called Lavender and when I finally got my weekly paycheck, I drove straight there after work.  The dim lighting and spa-like smell made the walls and tables of silk and lace even more enticing.  My attention was redirected when the saleswoman greeted me and inquired as to what I was looking for.  I rattled off a few brands I wanted to see in underwear or just something pretty to sleep in would be nice.  She immediately wanted to know what the special occasion was or who this was for.  I laughed a little bit, thinking how odd it is that one needs a “special occasion” or another person to see them to buy pretty underwear and pajamas for herself.  I explained that there wasn’t one and this was just for me.  She showed me to a dressing room, gave me a robe, and the shopping began.  

When I finally had plenty of things to try one, most of which were outrageously beyond my price range, the fun began.  I felt wonderful.  Everything there was beautiful.  As I stepped back out of the room to look for a new size, another woman came into the store.  Now, before I proceed, please note that I didn’t have on any make up and my hair was in a bun on top of my head, meaning that my 5’ frame and appearance left me resembling a 14-year old in a robe.  This woman, an obviously regular customer, asked me what I was looking for.  Again, I repeated what I told the saleswoman and she immediately smiled:  “How cute! Are you getting married?”

I could not help but choke and laugh out loud.  Yes lady, I am a child bride, I thought, since there is no way she assumed I was in my 20’s.  I held back my sarcastic response and explained that no, I’m not engaged but instead, a student at Fayetteville and I just wanted pretty things for myself.  She seemed surprised, commented on how cute that was, and began pulling things for me to try on.  As I wandered back to the dressing room, I realized I needed to call it a day.  I separated the realistic options from the ones that would require me to sell a kidney to pay for, and proceeded to check out.  

As I crawled into bed that night, in my adorable new pajamas of course, I thought about my shopping experience.  There were two things that struck me that day.  Firstly, why is it that women seem to think they need a specific occasion, be it good or bad, to deserve something beautiful that makes them feel good?  Do we honestly believe we need compensation or reward to really treat ourselves?  Sure, I can not go to Lavender every month but I felt like I deserved something like that and I had means to obtain it, so why did everyone expect a different explanation?  Secondly, why is it that when we do reward ourselves, we feel like we should do it for someone else?  Buying beautiful underwear or pajamas is one of the most personal things to get yourself.  They make you feel good.  Why is it supposed to be about someone else?  Why don’t more women buy and wear those things when they’re the only ones seeing it?  Those women wanted to know not only what occasion sparked my deserving of beautiful pajamas and panties, but also who was it for.  They both seemed so surprised when my answer was simple:  there isn’t an explanation and I am doing this for me.

Here is the thing, as women, we love to be pampered.  With busy schedules and tight budgets, it is easy to forget to treat ourselves every once in a while.  We start waiting till something terrible or something great happens so we have an excuse to do so.  Well, every once in a while we need to remember to treat ourselves.  I realized there are things every woman should do.

Firstly, I think we need to reward ourselves for no apparent reason.  Find that perfect “pick-me-up,” remind yourself you deserve those nice things, and reward yourself.  It is remarkable how good you feel after that.  It does not matter if your treat is a massage, jewelry, or highlights.  You do not need an occasion.  Do something for yourself every once in a while for no reason.  Secondly, do it for you.  I was so tired of not on only being asked what special event granted me the right to buy some pajamas and undergarments, but who else was it for.  I am the one wearing them, so for me.  They make me feel good.  Go buy something that makes you feel hot and is soft and beautiful and buy it because you like it.  Thirdly, at some point, invest in something beautiful to sleep in or for something under your clothes.  Go try on something you would love to wear, but never get because you can’t imagine where to wear it or what to wear over it.  Buy it.  I don’t care if it is a pair of polka dot panties or a garter belt and thigh-highs.  If you feel good underneath your clothes, you’re whole outfit will feel better and you will be more confident.  Do not think just because only you see it that it doesn’t matter.  

So, treat yourself for no reason, do it for you, and take some time to learn what a matching bra and pantie set can do for a girl.  Learn, as I did, that there is nothing as satisfying as buying a beautiful nightie or pajamas for no reason, feeling wonderful, and go to bed realizing there is no shame in trying to impress no one but yourself.  You don’t need an occasion or another set of eyes to wear something that makes you feel good.