It’s photos like the one above that have created quite a dilemma for us young women. If you have a Pinterest, you probably have a board devoted to weddings. Let’s be serious, we all do. If you don’t have a Pinterest, you probably still enjoy Say Yes To the Dress as much as any other girl. I’ve always been a wedding lover, as are many other young women. However, over the last year or so it seems like more and more people my age are not just loving weddings, but having them. Are we simply getting older and reaching that point in our lives or are we just getting so obsessed with weddings that we want one sooner? Are things like TLC and Pinterest brain washing into becoming wedding-obsessed women at 20?
I know that there is a time in people’s lives where your friends start getting married. I remember my older friends facing this milestone and I have heard older relatives talk about it. I knew I would get to that point. The thing is, it seems like a lot of people I know are taking this step sooner. I saw girls my age posting pictures of their engagement rings or at their sorority candlelights and I can’t help but find myself torn. Of course I’m jealous. They have a beautiful ring, adorable pictures, and now have every right to pin all of the wedding dresses they want. Then I realize that doesn’t justify getting married and I come right back down to earth.
I am ecstatic for these girls. Not only that, but most of the ones I know that are getting engaged are doing it for all of the right reasons and are mature enough for that step. The problem is, I come across so many girls that aren’t. I was in a class the other day where the professor asked us what we were each waiting to happen in our lives. 5 of the 6 girls she asked explained that they were waiting for their boyfriends to propose. I was shocked. First of all, if that is the only thing going on in your life you probably need to balance out your priorities. Secondly, there was just no way that all 5 of those girls were prepared for marriage at 21. In fact, it was highly unlikely that all 5 of them had even met the person they would be with for the rest of their lives.
I’m not saying that getting married young is wrong. I am not saying that you won’t meet the right one at age 20. I am just saying that I think the culture we live in is making us want to marry younger. I know plenty of people who met the right person at a young age. I know plenty of people that made marriage work at a young age. I think the problem is that we see it work once, look at a ton of adorable pictures online or watch shows about it on TV, and then we start believing we need it right now. I primarily am blaming Pinterest. I mean, there are adorable wedding ideas on there that could make the most cynic of wedding haters melt. I think we are taking the fairytale wedding and dream dress obsession many of us have from age 7 and making it seem easier and more necessary than it is. I think it is sad that at age 21, with finishing a degree on the horizon and having a wonderful time in college, so many women are overlooking experiences and opportunities because they are waiting for someone to propose.
I would be a liar if I said I wasn’t a sucker for it too. Every friday on TLC it is a marathon of bride shows. I always watch it. I have a wedding board on Pinterest with a creative title and more pins than any other board. I have a great relationship that is effortless and I have the upmost confidence in its success. The thing is, I don’t have to have it all right now. I look forward to the day when I plan my wedding and I certainly don’t want to wait longer than I have to. I also do not want to have a wedding because everyone seems so obsessed with weddings right now and I am caught up. I don’t want to start a marriage at 21 when I don’t even pay my own rent. I want it when I am more independent and can actually drink at my own wedding. We seem to be watching all of these cute weddings and proposals on display on the TV or internet and we start feeling like we need it right now. Ladies, we don’t. We put things in the wrong order sometimes.
I am not bashing marriage. I’m not bashing marriage in your early twenties. I am just bashing doing it for the wrong reasons, like because we live in a wedding-obsessed culture that is thrown in your face if you’re a college female. Trust me, I won’t wait longer than I need to and I love looking at overpriced gowns too, but it makes me sad to see so many women acting on this romanticized idea of “the perfect day” because so many others are.
The truth is, you meet the right person and together you’ll figure out the right time for the two of you. It may not be as soon as you want and you may feel like you have to have it now, but you need to do it for the right reasons. If that means at 22 or 27, it doesn’t matter as long as it is right for you. Remember that at this point in your life, there are other things that matter too. Don’t let yourself miss out on what is happening around you because you’re too excited about jumping ahead. If it turns out this is the right time for you, best of luck and happy planning. If you aren’t sure, maybe relax for a while and stop pushing it. Trust me, I obsess about my color palette and dream ring too but it just isn’t in the cards at this very moment. If a relationship is strong enough, waiting a couple years for a more opportune time won’t be a big deal. Below are a few of what I consider to be some of the most adorable propaganda that is perpetuating the wedding obsession. It gives you a few examples…and it was just too cute not to share.
You pinned this because whoever you are going to marry will have an unlimited ring budget…right…?
You pinned this one because you know you’ll remember to have the photographer to take this. Oh, and he will cry of course.
You pinned this one because if you run out of venue ideas, you need to be reminded that you could just have the wedding at a winery in Europe.
This one got pinned because you and your friends are that creative and cheesy and should definitely take a picture like this. I mean, you could use a photo like that for a ton of things, right?
And finally, you pinned this because it will totally be in your price range, right dad?
All photos are courtesy of Pinterest.com