Overcoming Depression: You’re Never Alone

Last week, on September 10th, World Suicide Prevention occurred. A seemingly unnoticed holiday, this day meant more to many than what we may realize.

I think for most of my life I have struggled with depression and anxiety.  For me, the emptiness lasted far beyond just when things had been difficult in my life.  Like a dark shadow, depression loomed overhead, always watching, always there.  It seemed like something completely out of my control.  The mood-swings.  The anxiety.  The debilitating emptiness.  It was always present, and it began to get in the way of my daily routine.

Last year, it was especially bad.  After going through some tough personal experiences, depression began to break me.  I just felt numb.  I felt like a walking ghost, unable to find much satisfaction in anything I was doing.  It was my freshman year in college—I thought I should be ecstatic, I thought I should love it, but instead I spent most nights in my room wishing I weren’t there anymore.  For as long as I tried to keep it in, I knew people saw the change in me.  I lost a lot of my friends and I felt completely alone.

I would often find myself becoming angry with everyone.  I isolated myself from any type of social group, and I missed out on making new friends.  My sleeping pattern was irregular. I either slept all day or I didn’t sleep at all.  I stopped being able to focus on homework and my attention span plummeted.  I stopped eating, as if to punish myself.  I didn’t want to ask for help because I felt that no one would really understand or care about what I was going through.  I believed that there was no way I could be depressed.  What did I have to be depressed about? Was my life really that bad?  All of these questions plagued me and kept me from admitting that I needed to talk to someone about how I was feeling.

It wasn’t until November of first semester that my roommate finally sat me down.  I was sitting at my desk, staring at the glow of the lamp that cast dark shadows on the cinderblock walls, feeling uncomfortable as she talked to me.

She told me I needed to go see one of the counseling services on campus.  “You’re depressed,” she stated, and at that moment, everything fell into place.  It hit me like a ton of bricks.  It made sense.  For the longest time I guess I had been keeping everything inside, and when she forced me to see it, I finally was able to admit it to myself.  I made an appointment with Counseling and Psychological Services (CAPS) where I was then diagnosed with depression and anxiety.

After I was diagnosed, I truly believe things started changing for me.  Once I finally admitted I needed help instead of trying to keep some useless wall up, that was when things started turning around for me.  But my problems didn’t go away over night.  I still struggle with many of my issues, and the anxiety hasn’t gone away completely, but I’ve learned to manage it in more of a healthy way after much love and support from my family.

For some people though, things don’t turn out so well.  I was lucky to talk to a therapist and to have the support of my parents to seek out the help I know I deserved.  Many people, especially college-aged girls, don’t take that first step.

The National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH) states “30% of college students reported feeling so depressed that it was difficult to function.”  For women, it can hit especially hard.  It has been estimated that women are twice as likely to experience depression than men, and that approximately 12 million women in the United States experience clinical depression each year.  That means about 1 in every 8 women can expect to develop clinical depression during their lifetime.  Moreover, in the United States alone, there is a suicide every 13 minutes. 

I believe that many people do not seek out help because of the stigma that is often attached with depression and anxiety.  Many associate mental health issues with the fact that you are somehow “less” of a person, or that there’s something “wrong” with you. That could not be farther from the truth. Depression is caused by a large factor of things, such as stress, experiencing life changes, biological differences, inherited traits, changes in hormones, or trauma such as abuse or the loss of a loved one. Regardless of how depression occurs, it never means that you brought it upon yourself.

Depression can manifest itself in many ways, such as alcohol or drug abuse, self-harm (cutting, burning, etc.), thoughts of suicide, loss of interest, decrease in energy, restless, anxiety, irritability, and much more. If you believe that you or someone you know struggles from depression, anxiety, or are considering suicide, remember these things:

1. Do not be afraid to seek out help: Seeking out help is the first step in beginning the process to treat depression. If left untreated, depression can become much worse, and you owe it to yourself to talk to a healthcare professional about what steps to take to overcome your situation. Remember that although depression is often not talked about, it remains a common issue that many of us face. There is never anything wrong with asking for help or finding someone to talk to. Although it is a difficult first step, it can lead to a road of recovery.

2. Take baby steps: Depression does not disappear overnight. Overcoming depression will take time, and much effort, but over 80% of those diagnosed with depression that seek treatment can return to their normal activities. Remaining patient with through this process of rebuilding is key.

3. Be kind to yourself: This is a process, and you don’t need to blame yourself for struggling with depression. Take time to appreciate an aspect of yourself you have never thought of before. Try to write down something each day that you appreciate about yourself. By rereading it and speaking it, you’ll be able to remind yourself that you are much stronger than you believe.

4. You are awesome: As cheesy as this sounds, take a moment to appreciate the pure awesomeness of who you are. No one can replace YOU. You are a very special and unique individual that has the knowledge and experience to truly contribute something beautiful to this world. Without you, the world wouldn’t have a strong, independent, beautiful being. Don’t let how fabulous and amazing you are go to waste. 

5. Healing is possible: I know that life can seem really overwhelming, and sometimes the walls seem like they’re crashing in around you, but trust me, it won’t be this way forever. You will be able to get through it as long as you remember that you can get better and stay strong through the process. Don’t be afraid to reach out of others. Don’t isolate yourself or be worried that others will judge you for seeking help.

6. Know your resources: Sometimes it feels embarrassing to speak to a family member or loved one when you’re going through a tough situation. I know I was terrified to talk to my mom and dad because I didn’t want them to be worried about me. I made the decision to seek out Counseling and Psychological Services here at the U of A, and even talking to a stranger relieved a lot of my fear. There are also plenty of hotlines, websites, and information on depression, anxiety, and suicide:

·      University of Arkansas Counseling and Psychological Services (CAPS): 479-575-5276 for new patients, 479-575-5276 for 24 hour emergency services, http://health.uark.edu/caps.php

·      Suicide Prevention Hotline: 1-800-273-TALK (8255)

·      National Hopeline Network: 1-800-SUICIDE (784-2433)

·      Rape, Abuse, and Incest National Network (RAINN): 1-800-656-HOPE (656-4673)

·      American Psychological Association-Counseling Services Locator: http://locator.apa.org

If you or someone you know needs emergency attention immediately, contact your local authorities or call 1-800-SUICIDE.

Remember you’re not in this alone.

Sources: http://www.nimh.nih.gov/index.shtml, http://twloha.com, http://locator.apa.org, http://www.mentalhealthamerica.net, http://www.mayoclinic.com, http://www.psychologytoday.com, http://health.uark.edu/caps.php, favim.com, www.tumblr.com, www.arcanadea.com, acidcow.com