Edited By: Sreenandana S Nair
I don’t know about you, but ever since I entered a relationship, it seems like everyone around me has suddenly developed an intense passion for offering relationship advice. From the happily single to the newly taken, from those who’ve recently experienced heartbreak to the few brave souls navigating long-distance relationships, I’ve heard it all. And after soaking up all this well-meaning (but often conflicting) guidance, one thing is clear: many people seem to think that once the honeymoon phase ends, my relationship is doomed. At first, I was scared, then I was petrified but then I decided why not do what I do best and dive deep down another rabbit hole. Let’s try to figure out where this issue really arises. What better way to spend finals week than to analyze yet another ominous warning that could potentially ruin my relationship, right? So after doing all the heavy lifting for you I have created this article. Spoiler alert: no, your relationship is not doomed.
The honeymoon phase is like a firework show—bright, dazzling, and filled with a certain kind of magic. Everything feels new, exciting, and effortlessly perfect. Your partner seems almost idealized in your eyes, and you’re swept up in the emotional high that comes with infatuation. This early stage is driven by a chemical cocktail in the brain—dopamine and oxytocin—that makes every touch, glance, and conversation feel euphoric. But eventually, that intense rush fades, and the honeymoon phase comes to an end. The fireworks stop, and suddenly, your relationship enters a quieter, steadier phase. It’s common to feel a sense of dullness when this happens. The emotional intensity of the beginning stages has naturally tapered off, and with it, some of the excitement. But this “dullness” is a normal part of the relationship’s progression. It’s not a sign that love is fading—it’s simply the beginning of a new phase. Relationships evolve, and love that begins as infatuation eventually matures into something deeper and more enduring. The absence of constant excitement doesn’t mean your relationship is in trouble. Instead, think of it as an opportunity for a new kind of connection that is more grounded in reality than in the heady rush of first love.
After the honeymoon phase ends, it’s common for couples to experience more frequent arguments, insecurities, and a need for reassurance. These changes can feel unsettling, and many of us begin to question what’s happening in the relationship. The shift often comes from a combination of factors. First, the idealized version of each other that you maintained during the honeymoon phase starts to fall away, and the real person, with all their quirks and flaws, becomes more apparent. Minor annoyances that didn’t seem relevant before now become sources of tension. These irritations are typical, but they can be jarring when you’re accustomed to the picture-perfect relationship from the early days.
Along with realising that your partner isn’t perfect, you might also begin to expect more from them—more emotional availability, attention and reassurance. In the early days, it was easy to overlook your partner’s flaws or accept them as part of their charm. But as the relationship deepens, there’s a greater expectation for emotional fulfilment. When these needs aren’t met, it can lead to frustration and arguments. Additionally, as emotional vulnerability increases, so does fear. The honeymoon phase is often when both partners are still on their best behaviour, and emotional intimacy may not yet be fully tested. As the relationship matures, the fear of being hurt, rejected, or abandoned can make us second-guess the stability of the connection. Insecurities surface, and we may start wondering whether our partner feels the same way we do. The need for constant reassurance becomes a way of managing those fears.
The reality is that love that endures doesn’t thrive on the same kind of intensity that marks the honeymoon phase. Lasting love is built on the foundation of deep connection, trust, and understanding. It needs open communication, where both partners feel safe expressing their fears, desires, and vulnerabilities. In the early stages of a relationship, we often avoid conflicts and avoid addressing complex issues. But once the honeymoon phase is over, the real work begins. Navigating disagreements and finding ways to resolve conflicts constructively becomes essential to a healthy, long-lasting relationship. Beyond communication, long-lasting love requires mutual respect. As you get to know each other more deeply, it becomes clear that you won’t always agree or see eye to eye. Accepting and respecting each other’s differences, rather than trying to change one another, is key to sustaining a relationship over the long haul. This means accepting the quirks, habits, and flaws that once seemed so insignificant but now make up the reality of who your partner is. Lastly, enduring love requires commitment—not just in the good times but in the difficult moments, too. Relationships are not always smooth sailing, and the path to long-term love is often challenging. However, a relationship that can withstand difficult periods, where both partners are committed to working through issues, can grow into something lasting.
True love involves embracing your partner for who they are, flaws and all. It’s about learning to appreciate their strengths, weaknesses, and idiosyncrasies. Love isn’t about expecting your partner to remain the same perfect person you fell in love with during the honeymoon phase. It’s about learning to love them as they are now and as they continue to grow. This acceptance is essential for building a relationship that can endure the test of time. As you accept your partner, you also learn to accept yourself, knowing that both of you are evolving, despite one another, but alongside one another.
All that said and done, it can be hard, and I fear the day I’ll have to cross this bridge. But I remind myself when the fireworks stop, there comes silence, which brings peace; at the end of the day, that’s all I need.