Edited By: Prisa Visveswaran
Picture this: you’re sitting at the dhaba one night with the closest of your friends – a steaming cup of tea cradled in your hands. It’s one of those rare perfect moments that make you feel as if everything is right in the world for once. But just as you’re about to take a sip of that cup of chai you were waiting all day for, a nagging thought creeps at the back of your mind. There’s a whisper of a rumor, a possibility that’s become all too familiar in the life of a college student – the dreaded surprise quiz that might be waiting for you in your Introduction to Economics class tomorrow.
Suddenly, that comforting warmth of the tea feels a little less soothing, and the laughter around you fades into the background as you’re pulled back into the reality of academic pressures.
All throughout my school life, I viewed academic validation as a measure for my self-worth. The number of hours I spent on my desk studying was something I could always control. In this world where variables are many and certainties few, my studies stood as the solitary constant. The idea of a bad grade was unnerving to me. It reflected my self worth and this only became worse in college.
This prospect of a surprise quiz lurking around the corner wasn’t just a potential interruption to a joyful moment, it was a test of my command over my academic destiny.
Embarking on a college journey often presents a narrative covered in both anticipation as well as trepidation. For someone who once stood at the pinnacle of academic achievement in high school, this transition can be particularly jarring. There’s a profound self-dilemma that begins to take root, a silent storm brewing within the confines of one’s own mind.
In the sanctuaries of high school hallways, being an academic weapon was not just a title; it was an identity, a safety of sorts. It was the assurance one needed in every step, the unspoken confidence in every answer.
Stepping into college, the landscape shifted dramatically for me, with every thread vibrating with the ambitions of the brightest minds from every corner.. The realization that the field has leveled, that the pedestal once occupied now stretches to accommodate the multitude of ‘bests’ from myriad backgrounds, is a humbling revelation.
This self-dilemma, this internal tug-of-war, is not merely about reconciling with not always being the best in the crowd. It’s a profound reevaluation of self-worth, a questioning of one’s place in this new environment. It is as if your entire college experience, your growth, your struggles, and your triumphs boil down to a decimal point in your GPA at the end of your semester. There’s got to be more to it than this, right?
The idea of channeling my inner Rory Gimore and Hermione Granger always had its allure towards me. But as the days go by, all I can question is if it actually outweighs the cons of this massive burnout. This metaphorical ‘academic mirror’ does more than simply reflect grades and achievements; it becomes a lens through which individuals view their own value, capabilities, and identity. Coming back to where we started- hanging out with friends, sipping on chai, and getting lost in all sorts of chats while that nagging thought of surprise quizzes looms in the back of our minds, we hit the heart of what we’ve been talking about. This whole thing where we’re constantly sizing ourselves up academically, letting it twist how we see pretty much everything we do, it’s been with us every step of the way. But as we stand at the brink of this realization, we are also at the threshold of liberation. The bigger picture of my college life becomes clearer against the backdrop of academic pressure.