Edited by: Stuti Sharma
“There is no pain you are receding,
a distant ship smoke on the horizon.
you’ve become comfortably numb”
Everyone builds walls around them, and everyone chooses who to let in.
‘The Wall’ by Pink Floyd delves deep into the psyche of a fictional musician called Pink, derived much from the band’s vocalist Roger Waters’ own life and the friction in his personal relationships. It follows Pink’s journey through becoming a successful musician and building a metaphorical wall around himself to hide his vulnerability. The song ‘Comfortably Numb’ is the 19th song on the track list and is from the perspective of a doctor treating Pink with drugs to ease his pain so that he can comfortably perform his show. The song discusses the issues of detachment from reality and getting adjusted to the hurt to the point where you’re comfortable with it.
Comfortably numb, when I first heard it, was just a mix of excellent vocal and instrumental synchrony, but the more I listened to it, the more I started relating to it. Often songs and films give you a whole new perspective on what you’re feeling. They help explain feelings that you’ve always been confused about. Everyone has periods of detachment, some feel anxious and some feel guilty. I’ve always been comfortable.
I used to think being comfortably numb was a good thing. Being with yourself or in a room full of people, being distracted and not having to feel anything is almost a privilege not everyone has. However, the more things I felt, the less I expressed. Having to explain to people that there’s nothing wrong with me, ‘this is not how I am’, it’s just a phase that I’m going through and will eventually get better, made me realize that maybe it’s not really a privilege, but rather something that stops me from getting too comfortable with people.
Pink’s wall, built brick by brick from his relationship with his mother, his high school life, and his confrontations with showbiz and its darker side reflect his increasing detachment from reality and emotions. The tragedy is that instead of someone noticing the wall and stopping him, no one realizes his pain and rather helps solidify the bricks in the wall. It’s easy to be detached, but not very easy to come out of it. The album ends on a note that ties into the opening track, establishing a loop. By the time Pink tears the wall down and gets outside, he’s already in a cycle. The moment the wall tears down, he starts collecting bricks to build it again.
Sometimes it’s good to be comfortably numb, but there must always be an anchor, someone or something that ties you back to reality. There has to be someone you let in. If there’s no one to stop you, and you’re too comfortable being detached, you start to look towards other means to keep you numb. Pink’s doctor, alluding to his issues with substance, uses whatever means at his disposal to keep ‘the show’ going on. Every Thursday, I see someone on a quest to force themselves to feel nothing so as to not feel anything. We underestimate emotions to such an extent sometimes, that we don’t realise that once we’ve pushed them away, it’s really hard to get them back. Once you’ve pushed people away, it’s hard to get them back. The damage that you cause to the houses around you when you break the wall is never worth it.
They say you never love like you did your first, and that makes sense because if good things ever end, you’re scared to try again until you’re sure that it is worth it. Once you’ve put up a wall around yourself, it’s really hard to tear it down, and when the person who tore it down ends up giving you a reason to build it again, leaving you to find solace in the numbness. All I wish for when I build my wall is for someone to sneak in. If I’m comfortably numb, I’d rather be comfortable with someone else.