As the children settle down into their new or not-so-new life at college, you look back at all the wisdom you’ve gained through your many years at college and wonder, “How can I ensure that I leave something meaningful behind?”. You want to guide the children and advise them based on everything you’ve done and seen (or heard), so that they know how to navigate this mysterious realm known as ‘college’…but how do you do it?
First and foremost, you should establish the hierarchy. You reign supreme on campus, having been here years longer than anyone else. You should take no crap from the kids and show yourself to be an authority figure full of wisdom, who will only grant this wisdom if you approve of the children who are in your presence, and even if you don’t like the kids you see, you should give them advice anyway, just to prove that you know better than the arrogant brats who act like they can rule college the way they did in school. Make sure they know what the pecking order is. This also means establishing the unofficial rules of the college, like the nickname given to the first-years, or certain days being the party slot, or forming a cult that worships a professor.
When you’ve finally come to terms with their presence on campus, you must ensure you talk loudly about how experienced you are and how old it makes you feel. Give the impression that even if you’ve spent the last two or three years in your room, you know everything about the college and how to survive in it. At some point in the year, it will bring a group of little ones asking you questions about what X club or Y class is like, and you must be compassionate, but also show off a little about how much you know (whether you actually know that much is a different story).
The new kids are to be the bane of your very existence. Whenever you see them enthusiastically run around and try out everything, your raised eyebrows must be accompanied by loud sighs. You may also wonder aloud, “Were we like this in our first year?” and then congratulate yourself that your batch was calmer and far more sensible. Everything about the freshmen is annoying and too fast for your slower-paced existence. Yet, somehow, you’ll find yourself looking out for them in classes, at parties, and in the dorms, making sure they’re okay and settling in well, and helping them manage their impostor syndrome and academic pressure. And if any non-undergraduate goes after them, you’ll always have their back.
Brace yourself for the tsunami of enthusiasm. In your fifth-semester Foundation Course (Just one more…you can do this…you need to graduate), do not be alarmed when fifty first-year hands shoot up in the air when the professor asks a question. This is a perfectly normal symptom of college excitement and will eventually fade in the coming semesters (hopefully). Do remember that you may have exhibited the same symptoms some years ago, and it’s important to sympathize with those currently suffering from this affliction. Remember your struggle to break free from it. At the old age of 20 or 21, you are a survivor.
If you’re the head of a club or society, don’t worry when you see the number of sign-ups you get in the first two weeks of the academic year. At least half of them will either drop out by the end of the semester, or be a part of the club in name only and not show up for any club events/meetings, let alone actually doing any work.
Ultimately, you’ll have to live with these children for a year, if not longer. You are an ancient being who has seen too much, and you’re wiser than you thought you’d be when you were in their position. But while you spend your twilight years in college, you can watch over them, guide them, laugh at them, and be the senior you were destined to be.
Edited by Arpita Wadhwa (UG 2021)