If Days Were People

I think I am in love. I wake up with her, feeling lazy but comforted. I look up at the clock as I am still lying casually on my bed, it’s almost midday. The usually bright star is hidden behind the gray soft clouds with drizzling skies. I feel a chill on my semi-toned skin. But I’ve got a delicious cup of coffee to keep my throat warm. I am strolling through my Instagram aimlessly, everything quiet around me. But this is a pleasant silence. I think about her with a smile. She is my better half. Someone I can show my introverted side to. She is at the centre of my comfort zone. She feels like home. I snuggle with my velvety comforter towards her, towards my world. We enjoy a light brunch with a fresh green salad, hot French toast, and strong orange juice. Her warm hazel brown eyes sparkle in the sunlight. Conversations seem to flow like water through a pipe. Her laugh is like music to my ears. My heart flutters like the butterflies in our backyard. Walks on the beach have been on my bucket list for a long time. She has made my romantic dream come true. We walk hand in hand whispering sweet nothings that would make my childhood self-cringe to death. I sleep like a baby that night, happy thoughts in my mind. Oh, Sunday! You’re a dream come true.

I cannot do this. Seeing him is the worst thing I have to do. Let me be very honest, I have never liked him. My friend, he gives her the blues. I feel giddy with anger when I see him. My whole body shakes and I feel pain in my heart when I face him. Every time I meet him, it feels like a whole bunch of work to interact with him. It is just the start but it feels like forever. There is so much time to return to my happy place. I am impatient in this regard. But I must do this. My head aches and my entire body hurts. The moment he starts talking, it feels like the sound of sharp nails scratching a blackboard. That expression you just made, that is exactly how I feel. Just about ten times worse. He just grins at everyone. He knows. He knows how miserable he makes everyone feel, yet he continues to burden us. Monday, you’re living hell to me.

Strangers often have the most interesting stories to tell. She looks like that page in the book I have been dying to read. I wouldn’t put my book down until I reach that page. I will breathe into the contents of the page, absorbing each minute detail like a bee sucking honey and adorn my bookmark only after finishing that glorious page. The page has so many hidden facts and surprises that I am dying to know and yet, I don’t want any spoilers. I want to be able to explore it all on my own.

I have heard about how funny she is and of the way she narrates her tales to keep you on your toes constantly. Of how she spins wondrous stories of a simple event and yet, is the best listener you’ll ever know. But that is only with her own clique, she is so quiet around me. She doesn’t mingle with us or laughs at our jokes. She prefers doing her own work always, never joining in on our ‘fun’. People around us call her boring because she doesn’t want to be a part of our stories. I feel she wants to create her own stories. I wish we could become friends. I wish she would come and tell her tales to me. But more than that, I wish I were brave. Brave enough to leave the shallow people around me and talk to her. I wonder now, who really is the ‘boring’ one. Tuesday, you’re the friend I have always wanted.

There he is, as charming as ever. I see every girl’s eyes following him as he walks gracefully. He smiles at everyone and comes to greet me. He is so polite, always the perfect gentleman. The nice guy. Yet, I can sense the hatred in his eyes when he looks at me. On the surface, it seems as if we have a good rapport. But deep down, I think he still hasn’t forgiven me for something that wasn’t even my fault. I remember when we were together, how our compatibility was always appreciated by everyone. I remember how he looked so miserable when I told him my infatuation was no more. His whole body shook and I saw the water in his eyes. Yet, he pulled himself together and nodded ever so slightly. He greeted me the next day with a huge effort. He still does, to this day. I don’t know if he hates me. I don’t know if he is at peace with me. I don’t know what I can say or do to make it better. But I respect him. I respect him for trying ever so hard to be nice. I respect him for gulping down his anger and still being civil; even friendly with me. All I can say is, he should just let down his guard and embrace his emotions. For being nice and manly isn’t as important as being true to yourself. Wednesday, I hope one day, you’re not in the middle of this mess.

Social obligations seem like the most pointless things to me. I understand that we mustn’t be rude but why am I forced to smile at every person that I’ve already seen previously in my life? I hate small talk and tbh, I’m quite terrible at it. Meaningful conversations though, I’m always ready for them. I’d talk to you about the stars and your thoughts on a parallel universe and the existence of God.

We always struggled to talk only to each other. I think we were used to always being in a large group, never having to make eye contact for more than three seconds. We had grown used to screaming on top of each other’s voices to make the others hear us. Laughing in sync, like a perfect melody. We should’ve felt a sigh of relief upon seeing a familiar face across the room. But we couldn’t even look into each other’s eyes without embarrassed polite smiles. It’s funny we didn’t realise how our souls could never really connect. I didn’t know what to say when they said, “Hey! She is your best friend right? You’re so lucky she is here with you.” You weren’t rude; you too smiled and nodded following the lie. It wasn’t like you were an unpleasant person. It’s just that we never connected. And that is okay. I have learnt this in a long, slow process that it is okay. We have mutual respect for each other and that is all that matters at the end of the day. Thursday, I wish you all the best in your life.

Silence prevails in the entire room. The clock is ticking. The sound of crickets can be heard outside. Is the cooker still on the gas? I don’t hear its loud whistle. An outsider might find this silence so awkward. But the comfort I feel cannot be understood by the outsider. We’re like two peas in a pod. You’re home to me. Irreplaceable is the word. I’ve been betrayed many times. It’s exhausting and it feels like the end of the world. Yet, somehow I have always had a tiny bit of hope somewhere that I’d meet my other half soon. And then something magical happened.

I found my soulmate in a friendship, which I never deemed possible. I found you. It felt like a very long period of time but finally, our souls met and connected in a way that others just don’t see. I never have to filter my thoughts when it comes to you. I can blurt out the silliest of things and you always have the correct response. I like how you always know what to say or do, when even I’m confused. You have been there for me when I wouldn’t have expected anyone to be. I have been living in a polluted environment for a long time, you’re a breath of fresh air to me. Friday, it’s been a long tiring journey, but I finally found you.

Sometimes you’re filled with excitement, shouting at the top of your voice and with a wide smile spread across your face. Your glee spreads to every person in the room because it’s delightful to see such a bubbly face. You flitter across waving to one person and then another, like a ‘social’ butterfly. Extrovert they’d call you. But at the same time, you need to limit yourself. There is only so much you can do. The comfort of being home in your cozy pajamas with your favourite book calls to you like a faraway dream. The vision of sipping on warm hot chocolate and snuggling into your bed while watching that rom-com makes your heart happy. Introvert, they’d call you. There is so much confusion. Who are you? The biggest philosophical question of life triggers you instantly. It tugs on your sleeve constantly demanding an answer. You take a deep breath and smile to yourself. You don’t need to know yourself completely to be successful or even to be happy. There is no urgent need to ‘find yourself’. No rush to know all the answers right away. Saturday, you’re me and I’m proud of you.

Edited by Vasudha Malani

• people
• sunday
• weekdays
• what if