Edited by: Stuti Sharma
It is 11 pm on a Thursday night, down on your bed, and you’re trying to relax and read a book, listen to some music, ANYTHING, but feel the FOMO of not attending the Thursday night dorm party that your friend invited you to. But, alas, the walls of RH4 are only so thick(they are, in fact, very thin). What was the point of staying in any way? Oh, right, you wanted some time to yourself.
Isn’t it strange how, after arriving at university, you can’t bring yourself to speak to your parents via video call for at least a week? The mere thought brings tears to your eyes? Explaining this to your concerned parents only leaves them puzzled. They wonder if you’re not having a good time. But how do you articulate that you can enjoy the company of friends, even find some classes intriguing (admittedly, that’s a bit of a stretch), yet still break down at the mention of Guppy, your faithful canine companion back home?
You miss mindlessly scrolling through TikTok for hours every day, even though it undoubtedly ruined your attention span. You yearn for the arguments with your little sister over who gets control of the TV and the joy of buying her those cute tank tops, even though your mom would inevitably scold you for it. Yet, you also long for the little things about university life – living next door to your best friend, getting a lava cup with your friends from Fuelzone on brutally cold Sonipat nights because you wouldn’t be caught dead with it during any other season, and sharing iced teas before and after class with acquaintances who aren’t necessarily your closest friends but you share all your classes with and hence are a part of your daily routine? You even miss the chaos ensuing at food outlets on Thursday nights.
The transition of coming back to university from home always feels so weird; regardless of how many times you’ve experienced it or how many more times you’ll go through it again. It invariably stirs an unsettling feeling in the pit of your stomach. It’s strange that now that you’re in your second year, you should have everything figured out, right? Your major/minor trajectory, the clubs you want to, or have already applied to?
But then, the pressure creeps back in. That strange mixture of loneliness when you’re not surrounded by familiar faces and the feeling of being overwhelmed when you are around people all the time. You might wonder why you’re feeling this way again. After all, you’re older and wiser now, or so you tell yourself.
Shouldn’t you be the cool senior now that your juniors want to be friends with, the person that has themselves together because you’ve gone through your starry-eyed freshman phase already, so why are you finding it to be oh so difficult again? Why do you feel insanely lonely every time you wake up to an empty room but also find it difficult to be around people all the time? Why do you feel this nagging feeling in your chest every time you realize that an assignment is due soon or you have an exam coming up? Despite having done this already multiple times in your first year, why do you feel like you’re going to mess up now?
If your teens are meant to be your “golden years”, then why does everything feel so difficult? Why does it sometimes seem like you’re wasting away these precious years?
So, you speak to your friends, you cry to your mom, you write about it. In doing so, you come to a realization. The pressure you’re putting on yourself is immense, unrealistic, and, frankly, unfair. Your friends remind you to think about what you are doing. You’ve always gotten to class on time, you get breakfast- at least on most days, you’re staying hydrated, you have made lifelong friendships with people you adore, and somehow, you’ve also managed to keep the friendships back from your hometown afloat. While college will undoubtedly challenge you repeatedly, you will always have the people you love on your side forever.
Missing one party to take an early night in is fine, and you won’t feel horrible about it the next morning, at the very least. Changing your course trajectory in your second year is ALSO fine. You don’t have to constantly hold yourself together; it’s okay to miss some deadlines here and there because you will be fine.
However, as my favourite underground indie niche internet microcelebrity(Taylor Swift) said, “Never take advice from someone who’s falling apart.” Therefore, consider this advice with a pinch of caution, dear reader.