Edited By: Janani Mahadevan (UG 22)
“And then they lived happily ever after…”
This was the concluding line of every single fairytale that I read as a kid, and I truly believed in it. I believed that on the way to happiness there would be just one evil monster, one green-eyed creature to conquer, and then paradise.
But, girl, was I mistaken.
It is ingrained in our minds to count down the days until we triumph over any problem that’s been on our nerves. We remind ourselves, as we battle through, that as soon as we overcome this one problem, everything is going to be perfect. That is, until the next problem arises and the cycle of battling, triumphing and reminding ourselves of days where the problem won’t exist anymore continues. Our days are just countdowns and deadlines until a problem is entirely solved– and the next one arises in all its glory.
We are stuck in this vicious cycle of unending anxiety-fueled days, planning on tackling a problem and trusting that another one isn’t going to come up, but then, of course, it does. The cycle repeats endlessly. In stark contrast to this, the belief that there exists a world with no problems was conditioned into our minds and hearts every time we came across the phrase “happily ever after” as children. There was a time that I was under the impression that I just needed to become a princess and everything would be fine. As the years went by, my thinking transformed into believing that everything would be fine and perfect as soon as I have a career that I enjoy and a person I love by my side (spoiler alert: I still believe in this).
The thought that there exists a threshold that I’ve mentally set for myself to cross in order to let me live my “happily ever after” tugs at my mind. When will I cross this threshold? How long will it take? Why is there a threshold that I need to cross in order to be finally happy in the first place?
Thinking about our version of a “happily ever after” will constantly keep us from enjoying the life that we’re living and the things that we’re doing now. The threshold for the “happily ever after” only exists in our heads, not in reality. We are so stuck in planning out and preparing for a “happily ever after” that we fail to realize that just the moment that we’re living out right now was once a dream for us. A previous instance of our “happily ever after” is our momentary present. For instance, in school, I imagined my “happily ever after” as going to college, and I’m finally here. But my “happily ever after” now is to create a career for myself that I enjoy and have a person I love by my side.
The thing with a “happily ever after” is that they keep changing. Our idea of our “happily ever after” evolves with our growth. When we accomplish every problem that comes in our path, we grow from the process. Instead of counting down the days to the next problem, we should instead be celebrating the success that is our evolution and the process of it. It is time we realize that we’re living our “happily ever after” right now.