Edited by: Arohi Sachar
“Such a fool
I took your love and I bent all the rules
You took the blow and didn’t let it show
Stuck around to let me know
Built a family of our own
Look around
We made a garden of the love we found
So many reasons I would fight to stay
You’re the courage when I fade
Take a look at what we’ve made”
Sitting in my room, with Honeybee by The Head and The Heart playing in the background, my wristwatch ticking to 12, and a pile of work in front of my desk. Lost in anonymity, I heard a subtle voice of a bunch of people shouting downstairs, heading towards Amul, and that’s when I leaned back into my chair and bethought of my most cherished memories.
- Midnight Sweet Tooth: Confessions of a Childhood Dessert Sneaker
As a four-year-old child, I had an insatiable sweet tooth that led me to indulge in midnight snacks. One such night, my mother caught me red-handed, with my cheeks stained with damask hues and my hands filled with a delectable serving of ice cream. Despite being half-awake and half-dreaming, I was caught in the act of satisfying my craving for all things sugary.
As my mother reprimanded me and demanded that I open my mouth, I could feel tears welling up in my eyes as I stuttered, “Ma-ma, please don’t scold me. I only had one bite, and I promise not to do it again.” Yet, despite my earnest protestations, I found myself back in the same spot the following night, unable to resist the siren call of my sweet obsession. It was as though I was a caterpillar, still cocooned in the innocence of childhood, willing to go to any length to satiate my cravings for chocolates, ice cream, and any other sweet delights.
- From Sneezes to Sweets: A Child’s Tale of Cough Syrup Obsession and Its Consequences
It’s funny how I always found a way to get what I wanted, but hearing a “no” made me burst my veins and I thought of the most rational solution a 5-year-old could think of in order to get it.Â
I remember the start of November when the cool breeze finally hit the border of Bangalore, I used to get my first sneeze and a second and a third, but it never stopped until the next season. Along with it came a blocked nose and a sore throat, but this didn’t make the 5-year-old me worry at all, the fact that I got to drink the extremely sweet cough syrup made me bounce towards the infinite.
Only one spoon Kaashvi, my mother would say, but I couldn’t be satisfied by just one, could I? So I bolted the door, went to my medicine rack, and engulfed the entire bottle. I went outside and showed the bottle to my mother and father exclaiming, ” It was delicious mama.” Basking in the glory of this small triumph, I saw the looks of insanity on their faces unfold in front of me, and the next thing I know, I was admitted to the emergency room in the hospital, smiling like an imbecile in front of the doctor.
Everyone in this world encounters an infinite number of people— each with a different way of existing. Somehow they all become a part of you in tiny subtle ways but – Your identity is shaped by the constants in your life, the unwavering presence of the people who have become an integral part of your being. These individuals may at times be frustrating, endearing, or even heart-wrenching, but their significance in your life cannot be denied. They are the ones who have shared your joys and sorrows, your triumphs and setbacks and have helped to shape the person you are today. I’m in college now, attending classes, connecting with new people, and talking about the important things in life. Learning how I’m going to live in the real world, get a job, pay my taxes, and make an impact. Bygone are the days of innocence, mischief and me just being a silly goofy kid. Innocence, mischief, and the carefree days of childhood are now just a memory. Gone are the mornings filled with leftover chocolate ice cream and carefree laughter. Instead, I find myself focused on healthy eating and the complexities of college-level math. The constants that once brought me comfort – my mother, father, and sister – are sorely missed, and the world feels empty without them. No longer able to hug my sister to sleep each night, I long for the simplicity and security of the past.
I think as we grow older, the ability to comprehend reality increases and this creates a sense of moroseness in our lives. Sometimes I wonder if I could just go back to being that innocent child, without worries, completely indifferent to reality. It is very rightly said that the more you know, the more you feel the less you know. But even though the veil of innocence has now fallen, I have come to realise that my newly formed wings have the same skin as my former ally. I don’t stutter anymore, I have a voice, but I’m still the 5 years old me, aiming for the infinite.