Edited by: Pratyusha Gupta
Jacob Elordi, has once again taken the internet by storm. Priscilla, and the simultaneous success of Saltburn (for reasons that remain a mystery to me), has given way to a likely event when you put an eyebrow piercing on any man, with their simultaneous appropriation by every single internet community- except the far right, probably. In any case, the soyboy fervour is back- you wear a cardigan and damn! You’ve beat the patriarchy!
This ultimately is treated as an act of overcoming a hurdle- whether it’s of expression through clothing, or extended to the notion of challenging toxic masculinity- it is about time we throw the word around anyway. Let’s first roll back and understand what it implies, though. The phrase was first utilized as a part of the mythopoetic men’s movement, which is an anti-feminist (to say the least) movement during the 1980s and 1990s associated with the release of ‘Iron John’ by Robert Bly, one of the key supporters of the movement. In this book, a wild man takes in a child, and is ultimately a conception of the idea of men raising other men. To put it plainly, they tried to find a community in building their masculinity (because that is what society needs, right?) as the anti-capitalist movement of people finding communities within their labours was utilized- except with a politicized identity and yes, the irony is glaringly obvious. Nevertheless, rising individualism was categorized together with feminism as the big bad enemy that prevented camaraderie for men- which, unsurprisingly, is an argument taken up by men in every era- when women didn’t have voting or property rights, or working rights, or during the Witch Trials. Anyway, this lack allows for the rise of greedy, narcissistic characters in the making of men such as Andrew Tate. You can probably guess that the likes of Jordan Peterson and Ben Shapiro act as endorsers to this ideology and mentor-figure to those who prescribe to this thought of ‘Deep Masculinity’ and encourage men to attend seminars and retreats- which are the real eye candy, by the way, look them up.
All this discussion only arises, to bring light to the fact that healthy masculinity is primarily a movement that is realized through gurus such as – Keanu Reeves, Aly Kassem, Justin Baldoni, Trevor Noah, Luke Cook, Harry Styles. Lil Nas, to an extent. ‘Hommes Deconstruits’, or deconstructed men, are one of the most recent archetypes in the constantly evolving paradigm of being a respectable man (or desirable, to an extent). This according to the sociologist Emmanuel Beaubatie, involves being pro-feminist and equality movements as a distinct characteristic in today’s day and age- talk about the bare minimum. Occasionally, he might even pick up the kids from school or do the dishes. You get the gist. This has almost emerged as the new social currency, positive masculinity is everywhere- ads, magazine covers, granting them “symbolic rewards” aka profits.
Let’s bring in Timothee Chalamet. What exactly caused him to be the societal archetype, the banner boy posing for healthy masculinity? Who exactly even determines the scale and standards for this masculinization? We have to look at the socialization of men to establish this and the cultural capital that is offered by our families- with gendered differences being accentuated in low income families with lesser cultural capital as opposed to privileged ones. An egalitarian ethos is therefore expected of a middle class, educated man as opposed to a lower class man whose perception is shaped by gender differences. Here the pervasion of sexist practices also comes to light, and even though they are prevalent almost everywhere, more prominent examples of it emerge within this specific stereotype, saying something about an internal bias we already withhold. This brings me to the idea of having role models beyond just what Hollywood churns out every few years, a good example being Hasan Abi. Alice also theorizes that such a person will appeal more to traditional households, with his journey allowing him to be easily more relatable and his preferences of being an ally, of being pro-climate change while still upholding the urban rich end of the bargain that is an expected outcome from all men.
Quite simply though, the idea of masculinity needs to move beyond a gendered lens and adopt a more humanistic approach. The easier way to dismantle the patriarchy as the kids put it, is to allow for moral compasses and ideas of reliance and kindness to not be framed within specific ideas of growing up and allowing for more reflection on how to simply be a good person. Sure, the ideas of comp-het and a nuclear family ensure roles for capitalism to function, but even within this bargain if just the general policing of cis systems is reduced- the fluidity of the system will allow for the nurturing of better men- within all classes. As put aptly, kids should be taught to simply feel the same way.
A major plothole within this is aesthetics being a primary factor and superseding any moral or ethical connotations in determining role models. Which brings me to my final point, of finding alternative and local sources and making examples out of them as much as we would do for, say, Tom Holland. My end remark is a humble request- please be normal about Jacob Elordi.
Source:
Video essay titled ‘positive masculinity is overrated’ by Alice Cappelle