Edited by: Vyshnevi Satheesh
#1
How to Exercise- Simran Wadan
Step 1: Mentally convince yourself of the importance of exercise and what it constitutes of. Walking to the fridge/kitchen to snack does not count as exercise. Neither does putting your hair up into a bun (I envy short-haired people).
Step 2: Find yourself a workout training routine; browse through YouTube, download an app, Google some options. Alternatively, call your fitness freak friend and tell them you’re thinking of exercising, that should do the trick.
Step 3: Summon your willpower and manifest yourself standing up and doing exercise. Stay on the line if you did take up a lifeline in the previous step.
Step 3: Proceed towards your workout area, preferably adorned with a yoga mat, or go outside if possible. Just as far away from your bed as possible.
Step 4: Constantly remind yourself that exercise is good for you and that you can get through it. DO NOT STOP, I REPEAT, DO NOT STOP IN THE MIDDLE. Also, the yoga mat must not be used as a bed under any circumstances.
Step 5: Be sore.
#2
How to Haiku- Akshali Gugle
1. Haiku when you’re listening to Don McLean’s “Vincent”
starry Starry Night
should be swirling in the Louvre
with Mona Lisa
2. Haiku when you’ve got a case of butterflies
her translucent wings
were pining after moonbeams
flutter – fluttering
3. Haiku when you’re in love with love
filled with trilling coos
carrier pigeons’ billet-doux
pecked away, the two
4. Haiku when you’re daydreaming (because of Mindy Kaling’s shows)
a dreamy-eyed boy
a girl’s climbable window
a saga ensues
5. Haiku when you’re green with gobbledygook
lush lasciviousness
I can’t tear my eyes away
spinach in your teeth
6. Haiku when you’re feeling non-conformative
a pagan bonfire
unabashed idolatry
milk of the poppy