Weekly Column Series: The How-To Guide to Life Part 3

Edited by: Arohi Sachar

#1

How to attend a class without finishing its readings- Delzeen Singpurwalla

“ “Tension nahi leneka, apun hai na.”

                                         – Munna Bhai”

                                                – Delzeen Singpurwalla

Readings were too long? Forgot? Too many deadlines? 7:55, 8:05, 8:15, 8:25 ke alarms snooze kar diye? Same. 

30 minutes before class

Identify if you’re the only one. That’s never going to be the case. Find someone you can split the readings with, and start reading at summa-lumma-dooma-lumma-youassumingimahuman speed. In the last 10 minutes, send each other an audio message summarizing what you’ve read. 

10-15 minutes before class

If you’re lucky, the author of the reading might have written a short, comprehensive conclusion, summarizing all the main points of the reading. If you’re luckier, you’ll see that 15 out of 30 pages are full of citations. Feels like a damn treat :)

During class

This class has a 15% participation grade?! Yikes. Put your camera on, bindaas. Full confidence ke saath jaane ka. Nod when your classmates talk and take random notes so you don’t have to maintain eye contact with anyone. When someone types a long message in the chat box, say, “Good observation.” If you’re forced, say something general, using words like “StAtUs qUo”, “HeGeMoNy”, “SoCiO-PoLiTiCaL” and “BoUrGeOiS” (still can’t pronounce that one).

#2

How to achieve a Pinterest perfect Instagram feed– Vrinda

My Instagram feed is far from Pinterest-perfect. It is a result of either peer pressure to post or my overpouring excitement over a particular “look”. The ‘number of posts’ is more variable than x and y because every time I stalk myself and stare at my own pictures for an obnoxious amount of time, I end up archiving most, if not all the posts. But, after having a screen time of god knows how many hours, I have figured out the hack to have a Pinterest mood board-ish Instagram feed. The first must-have is commitment. Given most of us are in a liberal arts university, paying a humongous fee, because sticking to a major or having no exit is unfathomable- might be a tough one. But a Pinterest-perfect Instagram feed requires an immense commitment to an aesthetic, a theme. You can’t be a monochrome art film one day and bubblegum skittles the next. Second, and slightly contradictory ( mostly because all of this makes no sense and you should probably be more worried about the piling workload)- start finding everything aesthetic. A nail lying on the floor? Aesthetic. A half-eaten tomato? Aesthetic. Now that you have achieved this, last and most important, don’t be like me. Don’t overthink and scrutinize every picture you click. If you managed to find a tomato aesthetic, you can very well embrace that pimple on your face or the folds on your waist. Delete your insecurities, not that post because you look pretty cute and p-interesting. 

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