Edited by: Deshna Maheshwari
All it takes is a moment—one moment to change your life, make you the person you’ve dreamed of becoming, or at least equip you with what you need to get there. Isn’t that what everyone has grown up believing? Watching Cinderella find her Prince Charming or Rory Gilmore living the life of an academic weapon while balancing a successful social life has made me believe that there will be a time where that one moment is going to forever change my life.
I think I’m officially at the stage where the main character moment should culminate, right? I mean, as the timeline in every high school movie I’ve watched goes—the main character has her moment in junior year, capitalises on it in senior year so that she can either
- learn from it and become a better person (and write a stellar college essay on it)
- Find her soulmate
- Completely change the trajectory of her life after some very BAD decisions (cough cough Rory Gilmore I’m looking at you)
But here we are — 18 years and I am still waiting…
In hindsight, maybe I should have taken more risks. You know, like, those risky risks. Not like ‘cheating in an exam’ risks (do not recommend) but something more along the lines of, “Man, I wish I’d done that”, risks. I think I have way too many regrets in me. If I had just said yes to my friend when she asked me to go to that one party, instead of studying, maybe I would have had my moment there. Or if I had gone to that fancy cafe in Bandra instead of McDonald’s, maybe I would have bumped into someone unexpected. Who knows, right?
Since the beginning of high school, I have tried to be as outgoing as possible (that too for a level extreme introvert). I have taken part in all the activities that there were, done all the things required to be an academic weapon, and so much more. Yet, nothing. No moment.
Soon enough, my life will become the one thing that I am scared of it being: monotonous, like an NPC (Non-Player Character). I think I see the signs already. I can predict exactly what’s going to happen during the day, who I am going to meet, what I am going to see, because I have done it all before. Yesterday. And the day before that. No, this can’t be. I cannot live a monotonous life like the side characters in a show that just pop up once in a while to make one or two witty remarks and then vanish. You know how some people say things like, “It’s just Taylor Swift’s world and we are living in it.”? I am beginning to think that really is true. At this point I know more about Taylor Swift’s life than my own. Maybe that’s because Taylor’s life is actually filled with these ‘moments’ and sometimes I like to take the whole ‘living vicariously’ through someone else’s life quite seriously. Or maybe I am just scrolling too much on Instagram. But what can I do? Taylor has got way too many main character moments.
Despite the lack of action in my life to provide me with my main character moment, I never lost hope. Of course, it dwindled, but never got lost. But now, I am not so sure.
Will I never have one? Has the universe or whatever that controls these things not put one in place for me?
Some of my friends tell me, “You gotta make your own main character moment!” Umm, none of the movies I watched, or books I read had the main character make their own moment. There was always something or someone who kickstarted their journey into the realm of ‘main characterness’. What do you mean, “I have to make my own moment?”And how would I even do that ? There is no movie/show that has the main character becoming the main character without a main character moment.
I think I will have to take matters into my own hands. Maybe I don’t need someone or something to magically change my surroundings. Maybe I can do that on my own. What if I stop thinking like an NPC and start thinking like a main character? After all, I have watched so many shows, I know exactly what to do and how to behave. Perhaps, I’ll be like Baby from Dirty Dancing-rebellious, brave and insanely talented. Or maybe I’ll be like Devi from Never Have I Ever – confident, smart and funny.
Or maybe I’ll be like me.
I’ll be the things I like and do the things I want to do. I’ll BE the main character. That way, all my moments will be main character moments.
Sure, it will be harder than how Belly from The Summer I Turned Pretty or Jane from 27 Dresses had it. But at least I won’t have to live in anticipation of that one perfect moment. I can craft that moment based on my likes and preferences, rather than what others have planned for me.
Maybe being my own main character isn’t so bad.