As we move further into our adult years, we notice that we relate to Squidward a little more every day. We love our school. We bleed maroon and gold and have our forks up every chance we get. But sometimes, we want to drive those pitchforks right into these little every day annoyances that only ASU students will understand.
1.    People begging you to do their surveys.
These days, it seems like you can’t do anything without being sent a survey after. Doctors, your favorite midnight pizza place, and especially ASU will send you email after email begging for your feedback. You can’t even escape them on Facebook because your friends are always asking you to do their research survey for their class.
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2.    Paying so much money for parking at ASU only to get to a lot full of students who don’t know how to park.
Score! The best spot in the parking lot/garage is open! Oh wait, you can’t even have it because the person next to you parked so far over the line that you won’t fit. Even worse, someone parked so badly that it caused the person next to him or her to park over the line, and the next person and the next person. Every day you wish you could leave a bad parking note on every single car you see, and then drive away in shame as you pay a ton of money for parking.
You can buy the above business card and several like it on Zazzle.Â
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3. Finding out the class you want to take is on a different campus.
The commute is annoying, yet you tell yourself you’ll go to the class every week. But how could you? You have to change busses (er, “shuttles”) that have terrible Wi-Fi and always run late. Oh, and forget about having a relaxing ride home after a long day at your downtown classes, because they’re so crowded you usually have to stand. But hey, you could always take the light rail and be yelled at by people of drugs. Either one.
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4. Getting trolled on the ASU List.
The ASU List is a Facebook group for students to buy and sell their stuff. Posts range from leases and concert tickets to whatever furniture people just don’t want anymore. Every now and again, someone will post something cool like an Xbox with tons of games or really cool art only to be shot down by some troll. These commenters are the first to go, “I’ll give you $5” even though you were asking for $100. They just keep pestering you in the comments until no one can take your post seriously anymore.
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5.    Walk. Only. Zones.
The Tempe campus is gigantic, and in the blazin’ Arizona heat, walking from the Physical Science buildings to the W.P. Carey School of Business is just a sweaty mess. The solution? A bike or skateboard to make the journey faster! Too bad the heavily enforced walk-only zones make you go so far out of your way to avoid them that you might as well just have walked.
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6.    Not wanting to talk to people, but wanting their free stuff.
You really aren’t interested in living at The District. But you’re in college and why pay for a cup when they’ll give you a free one? So you smile and act interested until they finally give you whatever swag their offering. You feel guilty as you walk away until you see that a club is offering free Hungry Howies if you hear about how great they are. Hmm… free pizza and guilt or the same MU options as the day before?
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7. When your bike gets stolen before you have a chance to register it with ASU Police.
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Bike theft at ASU is a huge issue. The above picture is an actual stolen bike that someone took from Tempe. If you see it, let me know.
8. Sometimes, just walking is annoying.
It seems really hard to get annoyed while walking, but when you get cat-called from a car every time you walk down Rural, get yelled at by a person on drugs on your way to the light rail downtown, or walk for 20 minutes without seeing a single person at West or Poly.