Gendered socialization creates and perpetuates traditional gender roles. I grew up in a very Catholic family, and sex was never discussed. When I reached 7th grade and my school was doing the hour-long sex ed class that required a signed parental permission slip, my mom reluctantly signed it and decided it was time to give me “the talk”. While we had discussed periods and puberty a couple of years before, most of my knowledge of sex came from tv shows. My mom explained that sex is only for married people and that as Catholics, we don’t support birth control or condoms because that’s “playing god” and because sex was created for the sole purpose of making babies within marriage.
Fast-forward to late high school by which time I had become 1.) an atheist and 2.) an outspoken feminist. I think that as long as both partners are adults of consenting age and there’s communication and consent involved, you should be able to do whatever you want sexually with as many partners as you want. Ā Sex is fun and natural and can be enjoyed solo or with others. Life is meant to be lived for yourself, so explore your body, your kinks, what, and who brings you pleasure.
With that being said, if you grew up believing one way and now believe the opposite, you have to consciously examine your past beliefs. You have to overcome feelings of guilt and shame and find joy in your sexuality. You might feel behind everyone else, like you’re just learning what everyone else was figuring out in high school. That’s okay because everyone has their own pace, and comparison doesn’t help you get to where you want to be. At the end of the day, it’s all about finding what makes you happy and embracing that.