8 Problems with 8 AM’s

You do not know what hell fire feels like until you hear your alarm go off before the sun is up. 8 a.m. classes are the root of all evil. If you are stuck with classes that force you to wake up before you can hear chirping birds, then you will definitely be able to relate to these eight scenarios.

1. I wore a jacket because I thought it was cold, now I realize it’s hot. But I have to keep moving to get to class, so I must take off my jacket while walking. 

Checking the current temperature on the Weather app is never okay. It will have you in thermals for the 28 degree walk to the bus and stripping during the 58 degree walk to class. Now you’re doing that awkward slow walk, where you have one arm in the jack and the other out of it, trying to balance your book bag and not look like an idiot. Always check the temperature for at least 2 hours out before you leave the house.

2. It’s a lot more windy than I expected.

On a regular day anything in the 50s feels like the 60s, anything in the 60s feels like the 70s, and so on. But not today! This is when the leggings and the short sleeves don’t work in your favor. If you walk back to your dorm you might be late. If you walk back to your apartment, you might miss the bus. Now you’re stressed, without proper attire, and you realize how unprepared you are for the moody spring weather.

3. I didn’t take any notes, because I fell asleep.

You started! The sentence was going strong… and then it trails off into scribbles and ends with a drool stain. It’s something about sitting in a dim classroom with a monotone professor at 8 a.m, that vaguely reminds you of sleep, so you do just that. Warning: Does not work in your favor when midterms roll around, and you have abahgysfsghbd written as bullet points from the lecture.

4. To eat or not eat breakfast?

For the people who wake up 30 minutes before class, your answer is quite clear. But for those of you who have morning time, should breakfast be eaten? And then what should you eat? I have cereal…but no milk. Or milk with no cereal. The struggle is very real. You know lunch time is two lectures away, so you opt out and go with number six. 

5. Did I lock the door?

I can’t remember seeing the keys twist in the lock. What if someone breaks in during the day!? Please, Mr. Robber, if you take anything, take the old textbooks that I can’t sell back.

6. Do I need coffee?

Yes… The answer is always Y E S.

7. Trying not to evil eye your hacking neighbor.

I just think 8 a.m. is not the time for you to sit next to someone coughing out her lungs. Or sniffling. Or doing anything that does not promote the health and wellbeing of your classmates. 

8. I should’ve went to bed on time.

You keep shouting, “one more hour!” Four hours after your bedtime, you’re still up gluing down scale models, writing that paper, watching that last episode of How to Get Away with Murder. Waking up 30 minutes before your class starts when you only went to sleep 30 minutes ago… not fun. 

If you’re having trouble conquering the 8 a.m. Monster, pop some vitamin C, bring an extra jacket, and pray that the semester flies by!

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• springsemester