Food always is a good idea and, after a long night downtown, nothing sounds better than food—and a lot of it. We’ve all been there. Here’s what your late-night binging choice says about your night.
1. McDonalds
If you’ve stumbled over to those majestic golden arches at 2am, you know it’s been one of those nights. If you’re willing to wait in the ridiculously long line, McDonald’s prices won’t disappoint your “literally so hungry I’m going to die” self when you’re able to order two cheeseburgers, large fries, and a McFlurry for $5. And they serve breakfast all night now? Add on some pancakes to that order. Your night probably involved some dirty dancing on an elevated surface and a supersize order of regrets. You’re probably at McDonalds with a completely different group of people that you originally went out with, and you’ll most definitely share some deep moments over your Big Mac. You may have lost your wallet, your keys and some of your dignity, but you also met a guy that you think could be “the one” and have a full belly of greasy goodness, so, all in all, a pretty successful night.
2. Food you have at home
If your version of late-night eating involves eating a handful of Wheat Thins or a rice cake that is “actually really filling”, step aside. We all hate you. But, don’t worry, we only hate you because we’re already wishing we were you. While we just spent $5 on a bar cover, $20 on those shots we just HAD to buy for the whole friend group, $10 on an Uber and now another $20 on a large pizza with extra cheese AND cheesy crust, you are sitting pretty with enough money left over for that choker you saw Kylie Jenner wearing once. You probably ordered a couple Vodka club sodas and looked fabulous and will feel fine enough in the morning to go on your usual 3-mile run. You’re wife material and, obviously, made sure to get all your homework done before deciding to go out. You’re truly thriving and we raise a chicken wing in salute to you.
3. A place downtown
If you end up at a pizza place, a Jimmy Johns, or any other deliciously convenient place downtown, congratulations, you have killed the night. You’re a social butterfly and are probably crammed into a table with 5 of your BFFs. You will probably see half the people you just saw at the bar come in and you’ll scream and hug them as if you haven’t seen them in years. TBH, the fact that you made it to any of these places before they closed is already a huge accomplishment. You started early in the night to get the bar’s specials and went to three separate bars just to make an appearance because you’re really proud of the outfit you put together. You, also, have asked multiple times if they could play “Get Low” on the dance floor. You probably made a lot of inappropriate jokes tonight and made about fifteen laps around the cash bar hoping the cute guy from your English class would buy you a drink or, at least, add you on Snapchat.
4. The Delivery
It’s a beautiful thing, really. You call the number you undoubtedly have in your contacts and Dominos or Jimmy Johns tell you they already have your credit card information saved and they guarantee a speedy delivery. Cue the tears of happiness. You were lost most of the night and probably texted your friends a million times “SOS where are you”. Once you finally found your friends, you didn’t leave their side and probably made many trips to the bathroom where you and your BFF crammed into the stall together (of course) and then took a mirror selfie for your Snapchat story. You probably danced a little bit, may have cried over your ex-boyfriend, and eventually left hand-in-hand and giggling with your roomies. You put on High School Musical 3 and wake up to 5 missed calls from Dominos. Ugh. Not again. However, if you’re lucky enough and are able to sprint down the stairs in your fuzzy robe to get the food you paid for, it will be one of the most rewarding experiences of your taste buds’ lives.