I have always been a person overly and unnecessarily concerned with the judgments or looks of the people around me. When I started going to the gym regularly, it became the place I felt most anxious concerning this particular problem—somewhat because I was not already fit, and mostly because I am a woman. But in a recent conversation with my roommate when I vented about my desire for the space to be more open to women, I realized that’s only half the problem. The other half comes from me forgetting the socialized stigma of being a female in a traditionally male-dominated space and just doing what I need to do to remain a healthy, happy human being. I’m not saying it’ll be easy. But here’s how I’m going to try.
- First off, forget the people around you. Whether they are men, people more athletic than you, or even a combination of both, remember that the vast majority of people you meet in the gym are not concerned with you in the slightest, and are especially not concerned with your every move as you progress through your workout. If you are at all like me and think this is a ridiculous claim, this step might take some getting used to. But ultimately, it is worth the effort. Once you recognize that no, that girl isn’t comparing how long you’ve been on that machine to her own time, or no, that guy is not going to ask you whether your pushup form is actually doing anything for your body, you can start to get more in tune with what works for you. And odds are, you’ll see results quicker.
- Have fun, even if you aren’t great at what you have fun doing. One of the best ways to get in a great workout is to do something that disguises that it’s good for you. Sometimes it’s an intense game of basketball with friends, sometimes it’s a sprint around the track for no reason other than it makes you feel alive. Don’t let the intermural basketball team on the court over or the track star running in the lane next to you scare you out of doing something that you want to do because that will only make you resent the space meant to make you stronger. You want to make the gym a fun environment that you can keep coming back to in order to get and stay healthy, and that can only happen if you stop expecting perfection at every turn.
- Step into the weight room. I dare you. Personally, I find the weight room a horrible place. It makes me nervous just thinking about walking in next to all of the buff guys who definitely look like they know more about anything I could ever know about weight lifting. I still only use it if there aren’t any other people in there. Try to get out of that mindset once and awhile. Because odds are, you’ll eventually need a twenty-pound hand weight or a kettle bell. Maybe you’ll even need a bar to lift, even if you only lift 45 the bar alone. Take it in smalls steps, and don’t let the buff guys scare you. The one time a guy walked in as I was finishing my workout, he was actually very polite. And if you’re scared about etiquette, you can always ask.
- Do what is best for your body. Everyone is different. Everyone has different reasons for going to the gym. Some people go to get fitter, even if they appear skinny. Some people who may seem overweight can actually outrun or outlift the average person. And some people are like me, who love food just as much as they love going to work out and recognize there needs to be a balance. If that means you only can do ten minutes on a treadmill when your neighbor has already been running for an hour, that’s fine. Or if it means you do weird cardio or abdominal exercises you found online because they work, that’s great too. Don’t let stigma get the best of you, especially concerning exercises that might seem too crazy, strange, or revealing. Our bodies are amazingly unique, and if people are judging you for going to a space meant to make everyone healthier, that is their problem—not yours.
- Last but not least, don’t ever let fear stop you from being healthy. Your mind needs just as much exercise as your body. Gaining confidence takes just as much effort as finishing a full session at the gym. And the best way to get a full, effective physical and mental health boost is to not only get to the gym but go with a positive attitude. If your mentality weighs (no pun intended) you down the whole time, odds are your actual workout won’t go as well. All in all, though I agree that the gym needs to be a more welcoming place for women and for beginners, half the battle comes from in our own minds. Getting over that anxiety might not be as easy as you think, but in the end, it’ll help you build up confidence and reach your goals. Never be afraid to stand up straighter and look those buff dudes in the eye.  Â