I
am
a person
of color.
Are you listening?
As a
person of color,
like any other
person of color,
I have known
microaggressions
in
my
life.
But before, it wasn’t personal
always strangers
or people I did not know well.
This time
different.
unintentional, yet still
a microaggression
from a
person I knew.
A
person
I considered
a friend,
a peer,
on a campus
where I felt
welcome
and safe.
A respectful conversation with these
women,
one’s choice word,
my actions,
described as
Yelling
“Please do not repeat that.
I never once raised my voice.”
I knew the risks,
I did not want to be
Stereotyped
as the
Angry Black Lady.
Angry
Black
Lady
Are you listening?
I’d gone over,
expressed pleasantries,
had a direct conversation,
and never once
raised
my
voice.
But one
girl
saying I yelled-
and that she
“felt
aggression”
grew into
others
afraid
that
they might be
next.
She wrote,
“typing from emotions,
don’t remember you yelling
said that on a whim”
Too
Late
Now
Words.
Words that meant no
harm
harmed me.
Because four others have now heard about the angry black lady and
one
is afraid
of being
attacked
next.
I’m hurt
because I shouldn’t have to think
about being stereotyped
because of the
color of my skin
but I did.
And I was.
I’m hurt
because one of my peers
said it
and
it hurt
Like a knife in my back.
I thought I had respect amongst my peers.
And now
I have been painted
painted
as the
angry black lady.
Angry
Black
Lady
Angry Black Lady
Are you listening?
Now,
mature
direct
conversation
expression
What was supposed to be
clearing the air
became
yelling
which turned into
bombarding,
slamming,
attacking,
aggression.
I felt like a monster.
If I wasn’t a
person of color
would yelling
be more than
yelling?
Would my actions still have been categorized as such?
So
My question is:
What if I had been
angry?
Am I not entitled to be justifiably angry about the mistreatment of
myself,
my friends,
and now the microaggression you have
placed upon me?
Women
get to be angry
and our
anger
Deserves respect
It deserves attention
It deserves to be heard
To be
acknowledged.
I’M TIRED OF
NOT BEING HEARD
BECAUSE PEOPLE
AREN’T LISTENING!
In her book The Seven Necessary Sins for Women and Girls by Mona Eltahawy, she states,
“What if we believed that, just as reading and writing help a girl to understand the world around her and to express herself within it, expressing her anger was also a necessary tool for a girl making her way through life…what kind of woman would such a girl grow to be? “
I agree
Mona Eltahawy
So
I repeat,
I should be
allowed to be angry,
and you should be too.
If you walk around
knowing
and seeing the
injustices
that
people of color
experience
because of
people
who lack knowledge
are selectively ignorant–
If you wouldn’t put on the shoes
and walk a week
in the life of a
black
indigenous
person of color,
a woman
of color,
you
are
privileged.
Patriarchy,
STILL
Ingrained
so deep that
women,
people of color,
people
who identify as
LGBTQ+…
All
working
ten
times
harder
to be heard,
be seen,
be treated as equals.
I’ve said it once
I will say it
again
if you are not angry
then what the fuck is wrong with you?
I
Can’t
Change.
For the first time
I realize
I can’t change
the world.
It doesn’t matter
how respectful,
kind,
or approachable
I am.
It doesn’t matter
how selfless
and supportive
I can be.
It doesn’t matter
what I do,
or say,
or how I dress.
It doesn’t matter.
At the end of the day,
I am and always will be
a black woman,
a
black
woman
stereotyped
because
of her
skin.
being
a black woman
is fun
until it’s not.
Until it’s
rude,
ratchet,
and angry.
In this world,
women are not allowed
to be angry,
most certainly not
women of color.
Realization.
22 years
it took me
twenty
two
years
realization.
people
will always have some preconceived notion of
me
because of the
color of my
skin.
It doesn’t matter
if I am respected.
It doesn’t matter
if I am successful.
it
doesn’t
matter
This world
does not
want
me
to take up space.
This world
was not made
for me.
So,
I will make it for me.
I will
continue
to take up space.
I will
continue
to be vocal
be angry
about mistreatment
and injustices,
and while I know
it might not change
a thing,
I
will
continue
to
try.