Her Campus Logo Her Campus Logo
The opinions expressed in this article are the writer’s own and do not reflect the views of Her Campus.
This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Augustana chapter.

What does it mean to have a self?

A question that haunts me,

gnaws at me,

fills my heart and consumes my soul as I stare into the sunrise that blinds me in the morning,

bathed in orangey pinks.

Everyone looks better in the golden light;

how and why and what does it mean?

I fall for the self,

again and again I do so,

but how do I know that it is true?

And what is it that makes a self?

Hobbies? Skills?

Traits, good or bad?

If I help someone, am I good?

If I hurt someone, am I bad?

Can I call myself a skater? Singer? Artist?

Cringe or kind?

Heart or mind?

I am cringe at heart, but I do see the heart;

I poke fun at my interests, but it’s proven true,

as I once more reassure that I see you,

fear and gentleness,

the joy of being seen overwhelms the mortifying ordeal of being known.

Warmth filling my room, illuminating all,

I’ll bask in the light and fear the fall, 

stand in a tee shirt that declares my interests;

concert sets I won’t forget,

video games and the internet,

fragments of me I project outwards,

each a piece of my self;

I am made up of song lyrics and fictional characters

and personality pieces I stole from friends,

I pray you see the self I project through my haircut,

I put forth a persona that you in turn loved and nurtured,

and I STILL DO NOT KNOW IF I AM EVER BEING GENUINE.

For I do not make note of the sunsets for personal reasons, no,

and when I chuckle at the concept of microwaves it is not because of something I experienced.

I am made of others I’ve understood and absorbed

but I think I’m okay with that. 

Mak Winkiel

Augustana '27

My name is Mak, and I go by they/them pronouns. I'm a part of the Augustana College class of 2027, and I'm a History/Sociology-Anthropology double major with a double minor in WGSS and Disability Studies. I'm your classic insufferable angry queer feminist poet with too many opinions and too much time on her hands. Give me any topic and I'll write up a little rant about it, no problem, though I occasionally struggle with speaking out loud. I absolutely love to write and draw and sing, and I know way too much information about the band Fall Out Boy. I don't necessarily believe in astrology, but I'll admit it's a hobby of mine (I'm a Leo sun, Cancer moon, and Capricorn rising). My main goal is to work towards a better, safer future, both on campus and out in the world, for *all* women and feminine-aligned individuals, as well as to examine, understand, and deconstruct the sociology of gender and patriarchy in our society today. I'm always open to discussion and constructive criticism of any and everything I write on here — no one is perfect, myself included. Just shoot me a message or find me on campus. Love and support to all!