Hooking up. That’s what most people on college campuses are doing. Majority of us are contributing to the problem that is hookup culture. We’re having sex with one another but the thought of dating each other does not cross our mind. My generation is known for a lack of commitment, swiping right, and texting one another at 2AM to “hang out.”
Older generations will claim my generation doesn’t know how to properly love but I think it’s more of a fear to love. There are many of us who come from broken homes—we know what falling out of a relationship looks like. In an attempt to shield ourselves from this outcome, we don’t let anything go beyond the surface. We keep it physical and don’t let it become platonic. No room for intimacy, no room for romance. Leaving room for this would mean being vulnerable, being dependent on another person. We’ve romanticized being the one who cares less, so no one wants to give in.
It’s exhausting trying to date people in a world that is so consumed by hookup culture because no one wants anything more than something casual. We settle for the bare minimum. One date. A few drinks. Sex. Friends with benefits. Why do we accept this? Why don’t we ask more of ourselves and those we wish to pursue? No, there isn’t anything wrong with casual sex but we shouldn’t let hookup culture fool us into to thinking we’re crazy for wanting anything more than sex.
We deserve more than this. We owe it to ourselves to discover a life than does more for us than sexual pleasure. I get it’s important but what about being reached mentally and emotionally? There’s value in casual sex but there’s even more value in committed relationships. Hookup culture tends to make us forget this because we don’t think ahead to the future, we think about who we’ll be in bed with next.
Hookup culture isn’t always recognized as a problem because we’ve normalized it. We don’t question ourselves or our friends when they go home with that cute boy. We encourage it, actually, because if we aren’t getting some, then at least our friend is! Hookup culture inflicts harm on us college aged women. It leads to strong women who respect themselves accepting the short end of the stick. Hookup culture makes us think we aren’t rational when we want something more than a man who will crawl into bed with us.
I sell myself short because of hookup culture. I know who I am. I know what I deserve. I know what I offer. But I settle for the casual encounter with the cute boy because hookup culture leads me to believe he won’t want anything more. Hookup culture leads me to think I’m ridiculous for trying to hold college aged men to higher standards.
I refuse to let my generation be defined by this thing that we call hookup culture. I understand where people’s fear lies. We fear immersing ourselves completely into a relationship with someone because we think the outcome won’t be in our favor. To that I say, we need to take more chances. While there is a possibility we’ll get hurt, there’s also the possibility that it will work out. Either way we will be learning more about who we are.
Don’t let hookup culture fool you into thinking relations with a person should be strictly casual. When you get into the right relationship, there is nothing quite like it.