An incel is defined as, “Incels, also known as involuntary celibates, are misogynists who are deeply suspicious and disparaging of women, whom they blame for denying them their right to sexual intercourse” (Chokshi). Rather than taking responsibility for their own behaviors, incels use women as a scapegoat for their lack of sexual pleasure.
Though it’s hard to pinpoint exactly when and by whom the term incel originated, it has been made widely known by the misogynist terrorists who associate themselves with the incel group. Early last week, Alek Minassian drove into a busy area of Toronto, killing 10 people, most of them being women. Before taking these innocent lives, Minassian got on Facebook to talk of an “incel rebellion” and praised another incel, Elliot Rodger.
Minassian’s attack isn’t the only recent attack in our society with ties to the incel ideology. Back in 2014, Elliot Rodger killed 6 people in Isla Vista, California. A day before Rodger took the lives of six innocent people, he uploaded a video titled, “Elliot Rodger’s Retribution” where he complained about his loneliness and swore to punish women for it. The scary thing is, for incels, it isn’t about them feeling they’re entitled to sex, but rather, it is about their belief that women are required to give it to them, displaying a clear issue with the way we define relationships and sexuality in our society.
The principles the incel ideology centers around presents a serious threat and terror to not only women but our society. Like the perpetrators of school shootings, men like Rodger and Minassian are labeled as loners because they are white males. If these attacks were being performed by men of color, we know this wouldn’t be the case but our society refuses to label white men as terrorists. The bottom line is these attacks fall under “misogynistic terrorism” and we must label it as such. Belittling these attacks will only lead to more men like Rodger and Minassian using the incel ideology as an excuse to take innocent lives of people, especially women.
Being a woman is frightening and I’m not sure if men realize how many times the possibility of danger runs through our minds. Two years ago, I had a date to a formal event joke about roofying me to my face. I nervously laughed it off because I feared what would happen to me if I retaliated. I scroll through my Twitter feed and still see misogynist jokes being made as if the hate of women is a laughing matter. It’s not funny to joke about a woman owing you sex after buying her dinner nor is it funny to think of a woman telling you no in a bar as a game.
Women can’t always tell what a man’s true intentions are and this apparent sense of misogyny in our society only heightens this sense of uncertainty. Women’s fear of being harmed, drugged, or taken advantage of is valid. While women are not assuming this is the intention of each and every male they come into contact with, these are thoughts that cross their mind when they go on a first date with a man they don’t know very well yet.
Women’s complaints or warnings of men aren’t taken seriously most of the time. Instead of considering the apparent sexism some men have for women as legitimate danger, it is thought of as something normal for men to experience.
Societal ideas that men owe women sex, women are just sexual objects, and that men should overpower women are not new. These ideas have been around but have become increasingly more relevant with the 2016 election and men like Minassian who kill for misogyny.
It isn’t normal to hate women or blame them for your lack of sex. It isn’t normal to advocate for violence against women just because they don’t wish to have sex with you. It isn’t normal to treat misogyny as a laughing matter. It isn’t normal to believe women owe you something.
The truth is women have always known about the danger of men like Rodger and Minassian but we weren’t being listened to. We’re always told that we’re overreacting or reassured that we aren’t in true danger. It shouldn’t take lives being loss for misogyny to be labeled as a danger to society. We know this is a problem and it isn’t our job to try to make men who hate women not hate us. This is a societal problem and not a woman problem.
Male supremacy is unpredictable and terrifying and though there’s no guarantee that we can prevent each and every misogyny related attack, identifying misogyny as terrorism may be a good start.