I just started my junior year at Augustana and have definitely had my fair share of highs and lows in these last few years. Personally, freshman year was extremely rough, and Sophomore year, I was determined to climb the figurative mountain of new classes, new friends, new professors, and a new dorm even though there were many things that halted me along the way. And here I am now, in my junior year, and these first few weeks have been super exciting! I am ready to jump head first into this school year, but I would not be so eager and excited if I had not lived by these three things my first two years of college:
- Stay Connected With People From Home
I call my parents & brother every other day, if not everyday. I text my best friend, who lives at home, almost everyday. Doing this makes a difference. I grew up very close to my family and have known my best friend since we were 6. These were 4 of the most important people in life, who I talked to on the daily, so why should any of that change when I leave for school? Having these people from home still in my day to day interactions helps me to feel less disconnected from what is happening at home when I am not there. I don’t feel like I am missing out, or that the people I care about are missing out on what is happening in my life. Whether it is your family, a best friend, anyone you feel comfortable with, stay connected with someone. You never know when you may need a sense and reminder of home. Having someone to connect with helps me more than I could ever explain.
- Don’t Lose Your Sense of Self, Find It
Don’t get dragged by a crowd. Closely follow behind and decide if it’s your thing. Peer pressure and the need to conform is something that you will battle with at one point or another. If someone asks you to do something with them, like attending an event, trust your gut and go if you want to. Don’t blend in. Make a name for yourself. Wear the shirt, makeup, or hairstyle that no one else has the guts to wear. I have done that more times than I can count and it has paid off every time. “I never would have the confidence to wear that! You look amazing!” “Your makeup is so cool! I have to try that!” “I love your haircut! The way you style it looks great!” And guess what? No one in a day or two is going to remember or care about what you looked like. Just try new things. What do you have to lose?
- Love Yourself
Cheesy, I know, but it’s absolutely true. To be completely honest and transparent, I did not love myself freshman year. I could not stand myself. I was dwelling and ruminating in depressive thoughts and my medications were not helping. My room was a mess and my classes were so difficult. I was always distracting myself with friends, food, media, naps. I wasn’t in therapy. I wasn’t even trying to love myself. Therefore, my freshman year was probably the hardest year of my entire life. Over the summer, before sophomore year, I was quite sick and even though school wasn’t an issue, I still wasn’t trying to care for the girl in the mirror. Sophomore year, I was alone a lot. My schedule did not line up with a lot of my friends’ schedules so I was left to be by myself quite a bit. With this time, I decorated my dorm, I decided to start therapy, I made art, I was with Sarah a lot. But slowly, I was alone with her by choice. I grew to like her. She had good taste in fashion, music, movies, and decor. I thought to myself, “Would I want to be friends with myself?” Of course I would. I’m kind, considerate, passionate, I adore my friends, and I looked back and realized that I had just gotten bored of myself. I was doing and feeling the same thing every day for months. A change needed to happen in order for me to love myself. I dressed in new ways, I cut my hair, I made a name for myself in the clubs I was in. A fresh Sarah was introduced to the world, but most importantly, introduced to me. This girl in the mirror had life in her eyes again and I saw how beautiful she made the world and how beautiful she was. How could I not love her?
All of this to say, you are going to be by yourself a lot. And if you don’t want to be by yourself, call your parents, or the best friend you haven’t talked to in a week. Love the people in your circle and surround yourself with those you feel comfortable being yourself around. Don’t lose sight of the person you are and want to become. This period in our life is all about identity, expression, and figuring things out. Love yourself as you change, and grow, and learn, and make mistakes, and try new things. You need to enjoy yourself. Love the person you are around the most. The change did not happen overnight for me. It took many, many months and a lot of hard nights, but I got there. I think anyone can love themselves if they try. Loving the things I did, and the people around me, and myself through all the trials and tribulations were the foundations for me loving sophomore, and now junior year, of college.