St. Paddy’s Day is here, and Irish bars all over the world are preparing for a profitable night. Meanwhile, police officers and emergency workers are getting ready to pull grueling overtime as they deal with pub brawls, DUIs, alcohol-influenced injuries, drunken emotional displays, public indecency and gutters overflowing with all manner of human waste in an effort to minimize the fallout.
St. Patrick’s Day and drunken debauchery did not always go hand-in-hand, as they seem to today. The holiday began as a simple Catholic feastday celebrating the patron saint of Ireland. Over time, the feast day was co-opted by secular culture and turned into a celebration of the worst of Irish stereotypes — the feisty drunken brawler who is always up for another round at the pub and won’t stop until he passes out, starts seeing Leprechauns or gets thrown in the drunk tank to dry out before returning to polite society.
And while drinking can be fun – and safe – for some. It’s not for everyone. So, here are a few ways you can celebrate St. Paddy’s feast day … all totally alcohol-free.
1. Wear green.
Okay, this one is obvious, but it’s also important to remember. Getting pinched sucks!
2. Fake it (or don’t).
It’s just as easy to drop some green food coloring in a glass of O’Doul’s as it is to partake of the pitcher of green beer the rest of the table is sharing. But you can also dye a lot of other things green, from milk to sparkling apple cider to things like pancake batter and cupcake mix. Green beer isn’t a necessary part of the St. Patrick’s Day tradition.
3. Attend one of the growing number of “Sober St. Patrick’s Day” events cropping up in cities all over the world.
These family-friendly parties were started in 2012 in New York City by Bill Reilly, an Irish American television producer and recovering alcoholic, after he saw a young man, drunk by noon at the city’s official parade, wearing a T-shirt that read “St. Patrick’s Day today; hungover tomorrow” and grew disillusioned with the sloppy reputation he felt the booze-themed events were giving his heritage.
“I hate those derogatory T-shirts,” Reilly told the New York Daily News. “But it suddenly occurred to me that maybe we could show the Irish in a good light instead of a bad light. The Irish have so much to be proud of, great culture, great history and great people — why let the world think of us as a bunch of drunks?”
Since Reilly launched the sober celebration, it has expanded to six more locations, including Dublin, Belfast, Philadephia, Richmond, northern Ohio and Casper, WY.
4. Share a traditional Irish meal with your family or friends.
Corned beef and cabbage, though not actually Irish, is always a favorite, or you could go for shepherd’s pie, or Irish lamb, mutton or beef stew. While most stew recipes you’ll find online call for a pint of Guinness to flavor the broth, this alcohol-free recipe claims to be more authentic:
“Alcohol of any kind would never have been added to Irish stew and should never be added to Irish stew,” the recipe’s author writes. “Does anyone really think early Irish people had access to Guinness? And even if they were lucky enough to have access to it, does anyone honestly think it would have been ‘wasted’ in food or to waste food? No. Certainly not.”
Hmm. It’s hard to argue with that. In any case, whichever main dish you choose, don’t forget the Irish soda bread to sop up all the hearty goodness.