This is a formal apology to the RAs in my freshman-year dorm. Despite barely knowing each other, my friends and I wreaked havoc on those halls. We had incident reports against us, and two of my friends were even completely banned from our dorm (nothing we did was deserving of that punishment, I swear). Now, I’m 2 months away from graduating. My time here at Ball State has changed me in ways I never imagined when I first visited campus in March 2021.
I’ve lived in three dorms, an apartment, and a house. I’ve gone through several major friendship break-ups (and make-ups). I’ve witnessed a fatal car accident. I’ve had my first kiss. My friends and I had a mysterious stalking incident that is still unsolved to this day. We walked half-naked to frat houses in freezing temperatures. We made friends with the security guard at IHOP. I’ve seen and done a lot during my four years in Muncie. Looking back, there is a lot I wish I could tell my freshman-year self.
You might hate college at first.
I know I sure did. When my parents drove away, I cried. I tried to walk to my friends’ dorm, but it was raining, and I had no clue where I was going. So, I cried some more. I cried when my (random) roommate would leave the room to shower. I was one bad day away from becoming a college dropout. I struggled to make friends and fall into a routine. Luckily, I had two of my best friends with me to ease the transition. Once we navigated those first two months, things got better. I made new friends, joined a club (more on that in a minute), and moved dorms to be with my friends.
Find a “fun” club.
Student organizations are an amazing way to meet people with similar interests. These organizations might be related to your major and future career path, or they can be just for fun. I am a member of three student organizations; two are related to my career, but the third is just for fun. I have been a member of Operation Black-Out Dance Club since my first semester of my freshman year. I’ve been dancing on and off since middle school, so I jumped at the chance to reconnect with the art in college. Having an outlet to express yourself and blow off steam is a must in college. I would not have stayed sane without it.
Explore your college town.
My friends and I text each other places in Muncie with the caption, “Why haven’t we gone here??”. Don’t be like us by waiting to create your list of places to visit. Start early. By the time your senior year rolls around, you’ll be an expert on your college town. My friends and I would pick our spots for the semester and stick with them. Branch out, you’re only here for four years.
College is for learning… so learn!
As tempting as it may be, don’t let ChatGPT write your discussion boards. And as cliche as it may sound, you are paying to be here. Take advantage of the resources that you are paying for! One thing I regret is not utilizing campus resources or even my professors. I have always worked independently. If I don’t understand something in class, I teach myself instead of asking for help. I should have built better relationships with my professors. That is what they are there for after all.
Cherish people while you have them.
Peyton Sawyer said it best in One Tree Hill: “People always leave.” You’re going to meet a lot of people in college. Not all of them are going to stick around. I have had so many one-semester friendships. Just because the friendships didn’t last doesn’t mean they weren’t worth anything. Our 20s are tumultuous. Everyone is in a different stage of life. Some of us are in college, others are having kids. It’s not uncommon for students to drop out or transfer for various reasons. People don’t always stick around, and that might have nothing to do with your friendship. My advice is to spend time with people while you can. Honestly, this advice applies to life in general; you never know when people won’t be around any longer.
You need to be okay with spending time alone.
College is lonely. My hometown is around 2 hours away from my school; I can’t just drive home to see my family and hometown friends at the drop of a hat. Before I made friends, I would spend entire days in my dorm (which I do NOT recommend to anyone). But the truth is, you’re not going to be able to do everything with your friends. Your class schedules won’t always match up, so you’re going to be eating meals alone sometimes. As the years go on, people get busier; everyone joins clubs and gets jobs. You should learn how to enjoy being alone early in your college career. Try not to waste time rotting in your bed just because your friends aren’t free. There are a plethora of activities that can be done solo. Visit a farmer’s market, go hiking, take a walk around campus, or go on a drive. Be your own best friend.
“If you make friends with yourself, you will never be alone.”
Maxwell Maltz
I have around two months left in my college career. I’m envious of those just starting, because I would do anything to relive these four years, despite the rocky times. My experiences have defined me as the person I am today. And while I do wish I had gotten some of this advice my freshman year, I wouldn’t change much about my time here. The biggest thing I hope you take away from this article is to live your college years to the fullest. You’re only in college once.