Okay, let’s talk About Katy.
That’s right, ladies! Throw your hands up if you ever been feelin’ like that plastic bag she always be singin’ about.
I don’t know what being a plastic bag feels like so I am unsure if I can help in that department.
BUT, I do know how it feels to be a firework because mmm babay we be sparkling every day.
Who did the Super Bowl better?
a. Tom Brady
b. Katy Perry
c. Giselle
Honestly I’m not quite sure.
I think People Magazine would pick Tom Brady because of his six-pack and how good he looks in a soaking wet white t-shirt (not because he is a 3-time MVP or a 4-time Super Bowl champion. No. Def not).
Glamour would vote Team K. Perry all the way. Her flawless high pony under those LED and holographic light systems: OMG. So chic. Let us not even mention how complimentary her beach suit was against her pale-to-perfection winter skin.
Giselle. Oh, Giselle. She gets Vogue. If Yonce wasn’t already Queen Bee….
No one understands how excited I was to see Katy. Do not, I repeat, DO NOT misinterpret that as me not being one hundo people thrilled during the first two quarters. Nah B, I be pumped.
Katy though.
Did she or did she not blow it out of park?
Central Park: CHECK
Golden Gate Park: CHECK
Acadia Park: CHECK
Yosemite Park: CHECK
Yep, she home ran that half time show.
What I question most however – actually I have two questions. The answer to question one will be the same answer to question two.
Questions:
1. How do I become the person moving the tiger’s legs across the 50-yard line?
2. How do I become a shark?
Please tell me that one of you knows. I need to know. Are there open auditions? Where do I audition? Is there a height requirement to be a shark? Do I need to be able to bench press to help the tiger walk?
I have questions and I want answers. Because I am the best helping-tiger-walk, and dress-up-as-inflatable-shark person. I already wrote that cover letter.
One time in 2013 I almost took a flight to Disney World to audition as Princess Jasmine. You know how Disney characters dress up and walk around the park? Yeah, that’s the role I was going for. Peter Pan was available too and I almost convinced the older brother to tag along.
I never ended up auditioning because everything was scheduled on February 14th, and my imaginary boyfriend had a hot date already set up. Candle lit on the rooftop. Worth it. Sorry Jasmine. Sorry Disney. Sorry Katy. Maybe next time.
My conclusion: Hello, Ticketmaster? Can I get a VIP pass for Katy’s world tour?
Oh wait
*insert blushing *
I’m on the list?
Obvi.
Remember, live large and sparkle.
XO Flo