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Super Bowl Halftime Show Review: Let’s Talk About Katy.

This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Bates chapter.

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Okay, let’s talk About Katy.

That’s right, ladies!  Throw your hands up if you ever been feelin’ like that plastic bag she always be singin’ about.

I don’t know what being a plastic bag feels like so I am unsure if I can help in that department.

BUT, I do know how it feels to be a firework because mmm babay we be sparkling every day.

Who did the Super Bowl better?

a. Tom Brady

b. Katy Perry

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c. Giselle

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Honestly I’m not quite sure.

I think People Magazine would pick Tom Brady because of his six-pack and how good he looks in a soaking wet white t-shirt (not because he is a 3-time MVP or a 4-time Super Bowl champion. No. Def not).

Glamour would vote Team K. Perry all the way. Her flawless high pony under those LED and holographic light systems: OMG. So chic. Let us not even mention how complimentary her beach suit was against her pale-to-perfection winter skin.

Giselle. Oh, Giselle. She gets Vogue. If Yonce wasn’t already Queen Bee….

No one understands how excited I was to see Katy. Do not, I repeat, DO NOT misinterpret that as me not being one hundo people thrilled during the first two quarters. Nah B, I be pumped.

Katy though.

Did she or did she not blow it out of park?

Central Park: CHECK

Golden Gate Park: CHECK

Acadia Park: CHECK

Yosemite Park: CHECK

Yep, she home ran that half time show.

What I question most however – actually I have two questions. The answer to question one will be the same answer to question two.

Questions:

1.     How do I become the person moving the tiger’s legs across the 50-yard line?

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2.     How do I become a shark?

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Please tell me that one of you knows. I need to know. Are there open auditions? Where do I audition? Is there a height requirement to be a shark? Do I need to be able to bench press to help the tiger walk?

I have questions and I want answers. Because I am the best helping-tiger-walk, and dress-up-as-inflatable-shark person. I already wrote that cover letter.

One time in 2013 I almost took a flight to Disney World to audition as Princess Jasmine. You know how Disney characters dress up and walk around the park? Yeah, that’s the role I was going for. Peter Pan was available too and I almost convinced the older brother to tag along.

I never ended up auditioning because everything was scheduled on February 14th, and my imaginary boyfriend had a hot date already set up. Candle lit on the rooftop. Worth it. Sorry Jasmine. Sorry Disney. Sorry Katy. Maybe next time.

My conclusion: Hello, Ticketmaster? Can I get a VIP pass for Katy’s world tour?

Oh wait

*insert blushing *

I’m on the list?

Obvi.

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Remember, live large and sparkle.

XO Flo

Becca Carifio is a senior history major at Bates College. Obsessed with coffee, scarves, videos of cute animals and polka dots. Currently trying to convince her parents that reading comic books for her thesis on Wonder Woman during World War II is worth their tuition money.