How many times have you opened Instagram or Facebook to be greeted with posts from people you think are prettier than you? You scroll through your feed thinking, “dang I wish I had a body like that.” What I don’t understand is how we feel like we have a right to comment on other peoples’ bodies when most of us aren’t even comfortable in our own skin. Whether you think you’re saying something nice by saying “wow you can eat so much and still stay skinny?! I wish,” or “if you want to lose weight, you should just try portion control and eating less,” you’re really just being detrimental to that person.
As someone who has constantly struggled with being self-conscious about my weight, I have always felt like I could go to lose a few pounds. Whether it was a family member, a close friend, or a random stranger in line with me, people have always felt like they could comment on how much I’m eating. “If you’re wanting to lose weight, you should eat a salad instead…” I’m sorry, but no matter how nice your intentions were, it still made me feel self-conscious. If you know someone is self-conscious about their weight or that they are wanting to lose some weight, instead of commenting on what they are eating just ensure that they know you are there for them if they need anything.Â
Although it sounds a little bizarre, this issue is also present to people who seem “skinny.” Growing up, one of my good friends had just a naturally slimmer body shape. I saw how people would either say “you can eat THAT much and still stay skinny, dang I’m jealous,” or they would say “no wonder you’re so skinny, you don’t eat!” While these may sound like harmless comments, they can actually make the person self-conscious about how they eat. They don’t want to have their eating habits scrutinized by others around them.Â
In an age when body positivity is so prominent, these comments are coming from people genuinely wanting to compliment you for how you look, but instead of commenting on how they eat or comparing how they look to how you look, just give them a simple compliment. A simple “wow you look really pretty today,” or “that dress really makes your eyes pop” makes girls feel confident in themselves without feeling scrutinized for how they eat. Besides, it’s also important to highlight people’s innate beauty: their kindness, ingenuity, or authenticity. So, girls, let’s stop commenting on each other’s bodies and start talking about the beautiful characteristics that each of us possesses.