North Face Borealis in black
   So, who did you rush? Kappa or Pi Phi? This is the backpack that started this whole article. When I first came to this university I was struck by the cult of this backpack. It was like everywhere I went there were hoards of girls with the same backpack. They would come in waves. But like a tsunami, you often hear it before you actually see it. And before you know it, you’re stuck behind a group of girls gossiping about the latest in their srat or what happened the other night at Scruff’s. If these girls were a drink, it would probably be a long island iced tea. Unassuming at first, but when you take a sip you realize you’re in for a rougher night than you wanted. It’s a good time, but, man, more than a couple is way too many. What I will say about these girls is that they are always on the go. They are probably the busiest people you will ever meet and have the color-coded planner to back it up. They are truly a force of nature.Â
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North Face Borealis in a color other than black
   Ah, so you wanted the classic style and comfort while showing a little bit of flair? You wanted to stray away from the pack a little? I completely understand. When I see girls with this backpack, no matter if it is the gray, the purple, or the light blue, I always just know they are most likely major in biology, english, or something else in the humanities. These gals are down-to-earth and practical. They just picked a functional bag that matches the majority of their wardrobe or is their favorite color. It is a beautiful thing. Truly the epitome of self-expression.Â
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Louis Vuitton NeverfullÂ
   Listen, I can’t deny that this bag is absolutely timeless and is super functional on days when it is not raining or you do not have a lot of stuff to carry around with you all day. Your life is either hanging by a skinny little thread, like those painful shoulder straps or you have space for anything and everyone in your schedule. You are probably a business student or are studying fashion because this bag is not comfortable to carry around. So you’re definitely not taking it with you to the BSB (hello, chemical spills!) nor are you practical enough to be literally any other major. You probably want to look like you’re into fashion but really you just think slapping a logo on something makes it stylish. The bag is beautiful, but it would really help your back and posture if you switched it out with something that has more durable straps.
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Canvas tote bag from any coffee shop or art museum
   Okay, so you listened to Mac DeMarco for the first time at Pinewood and you want people to think you’re “down.” Now down for what exactly, I have no idea. But people who carry canvas tote bags scream “I’m much cooler than you” to me personally. But that really usually means you’ve gone thrifting at GoodWill only once and you either developed a caffeine or nicotine addiction in an attempt to land yourself an alt barista lover. Listen, I am all here for it. As someone with a severe caffeine addiction and a love for any coffee shop in Waco that isn’t Common Grounds, I get it. I have been there. But you know, it is okay to let people discover how cool you are before you meet them. Try leaving a little more to the imagination, babe. There is more to life than Tame Impala, Van Gogh, and lame skater boys.
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JanSport Right Pack backpackÂ
   Do not mess with these girls. Let me repeat, do not mess with these girls. The group of ladies who rock this backpack is to be feared. They are ruthless and they probably know how to fight. If I were to guess their zodiac sign, I would probably say they are all aries. I’m not sure why, but that just feels right. I will say these girls also rock the sweatpants with a teeny tiny tank top trend better than anyone else. I find that these girls also really know how to do eyeliner super well. They are definitely the friend in the group who everyone wants their makeup to look like but can never quite get it there. It is entirely possible I am projecting who I wanted to be when I was in middle school but I will always have a soft spot for these tough, laidback gals.Â
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   So the next time you find yourself wanting to learn more about how you’re being perceived, just remember this article. Or don’t because everyone is different and my opinions are highly biased and are in no way based in reality. If you’re looking for a new bag, my advice to you is to just get what you like! You’re the one who will have to lug it around all day (and probably night), so do you.