This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at BC chapter.

Every time you enter a football game, or a hockey game or basketball game for that matter, you can hear the hundreds of BC students cheering away. You can’t help but think about how much every fan must really love BC.

Not to forget about the tons of Instagram posts with hash tags and captions like “Perfect night in my amazing home” or “Finally home,” found after every Friday night out. It seems that tons of students KNOW that BC is perfect for them; to the point they see it as their new home. You would think BC had Greek life with the number of “Welcome Home” comments that fly through Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.

But what if you don’t feel like BC is your home?

It’s easy to start to feel like something is wrong when everyone appears to be fitting in seamlessly. When it comes to the idea of fitting in, changing your friend group, taking a gap year, and transferring there are a few things to consider.

For one, not everyone fits in as well as he or she appears. BC is such a competitive school, and everyone is used to being the number one at something—maybe even the best in their school for a few things. Remember at Orientation, when they ask people to stand if they were valedictorian, captain of their sport, the president of a club, and other major accomplishments? Basically everyone stood up.

It’s hard at a school with so many talented people to feel comfortable letting your weaknesses show. Don’t let the fact that it APPEARS like everyone knows their friend group, is excelling in their classes, has landed the perfect internship, or has found their soul mate convince you that their life is actually perfect. Everyone struggles their freshman year one way or another, and a lot of people continue to have doubts all the way through graduation.

A lot of people are following the good old advice, “Fake it until you make it,” and with a school full of geniuses it’s easy to believe their facades.

Another thing to consider is that transferring or taking a gap year doesn’t guarantee things will get better. When reading a transfer blog I came across the advice to not transfer if your problem could potentially follow you to your new school. If you want to transfer because BC doesn’t have your major, BC’s size isn’t right for you, or some similar problem that cannot be changed about BC then maybe transferring is a good option for you.

Those being said, if you want to transfer for a social reason, take some time to consider if your problem will go away at your new school. As a transfer are you immediately going to fit in and find your group? Could the situation be worse?

For those of you considering transferring, taking a leave of absence, or taking a gap year for social reasons, I present you this challenge. One, seek out a mentor. Whether you go to the Women’s Center, First Year Experience, an upperclassman from a club you are in, or another source, finding a mentor will give you some honest insight into what transitioning at BC is like.

Next, ask someone to lunch that you have always thought seemed interesting. Sometimes it is easy to get stuck in one friend group and think it’s too late to branch out. IT IS NOT TOO LATE. Also, join a new club; don’t overdo it if you are already in a million clubs, but if your schedule can handle it, do it. Not only join a new club, but also do it on your own. Don’t bring a friend, because then you won’t push yourself.

Another important thing, maybe the hardest of them all, is being honest about how you are doing. It is so easy to want to blend in with everyone appearing so happy, but no one can support you if they don’t know you need support.

I thought I wanted to transfer. I thought I didn’t fit in at all. Then, after reaching out and finally being upfront about how I was feeling, I realized two things. One, I am not alone. Two, just because I hadn’t found my place a few months into my first year that doesn’t mean I never will. I came to this realization from the combined support of some of the resources listed above.

In the end, BC is the right place for me, and it can be for you too. Surround yourself with genuine people, and you will realize that there are so many opportunities you have yet to discover. If you can’t find someone to talk to, you could always reach out to me – Elaina Gray.

I wish you the best and know that your feelings are real. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

Photo Sources

Football Game

http://collegeapps.about.com/od/phototours/ss/boston-college-photo-tour_15.htm

Welcome Home

http://www.centralfloridafuture.com/story/news/2014/08/28/sorority-drone-footage/14771515/

Don’t fit in

http://amaya2311.deviantart.com/art/I-just-don-t-fit-in-the-box-195181861

Number One

https://rabbitsandcheshirecats.wordpress.com/2008/09/11/w4-8-the-overachievers/

Fake it

http://www.pacific54.com/potato-salad-guy-taught-marketing/