Sobriety. It’s not something that we talk a lot about at BC, a place centered on a “work hard play hard” mentality, but maybe we should. Writing this piece has been a work in progress for me over the course of the semester, as I decided to take a break from drinking for a while and spend some time being sober. This was not a decision that was easy to come to, but rather after a few too many comments about my drinking habits and one very alarming night over the summer, I finally made the choice to take a break from alcohol. I want to clarify first that I am not an alcoholic, but I was abusing alcohol. Drinking for me became a way to push to the back of my mind all the issues I was having with friends or family and pretend that everything was perfect, and when I was in my boozy, altered sense of reality I was finally able to forget about everything else that was going on in my life.
Unfortunately sometimes it’s not until we hit a low point, for me it was getting sick alone in my room not realizing how I had made it home and texting my best friend in the middle of the night totally freaking her out, that we are able to see the situation for what it is. The following morning, as I battled an aggressive hangover, my best friend and I began to discuss the possibility of me not drinking when I returned to school. It is with this support that I began to address the underlying issues that had perpetuated my erratic and dangerous behavior.
Coming to BC as a student who is of legal drinking age and choosing not to drink has been an enlightening experience. My five roommates are the best people I know and have been nothing but supportive and the greatest friends I could ask for as I worked through my issues. This being said, I have told very few people about the fact that I have been sober all semester and instead pretend to drink at a party while holding a solo cup full of “vodka”(water). While I don’t wish to broadcast the fact that I haven’t been drinking, my experience has lead me to wonder if there are other students like me. Students who should exercise the option to not drink for a while but are afraid to approach their friends about it or think they will be judged for their decision. I had a lot of the same worries, but at the end of the day I needed to take control of my own life and while the support of my roommates definitely made the situation much easier, I would have gone on with it even if they had been wary. A true friend is going to have your best interest at heart and if you truly need help, chances are they see it too.
Admitting you need help is not a sign of weakness. Over the past four months I have come to see that asking for help and talking about what happened to me is not a sign of weakness, rather it is a sign of strength. This was something that I had trouble admitting to myself for a long time because I never like feeling like an imposition to anyone or spreading around my problems. I generally tend to think that everyone else has bigger problems going on and mine aren’t important or worth talking about. This mentality largely contributed to my drinking becoming a problem in the first place and is something I have worked very hard to correct over the past few months.
I wanted to write this article to open up a dialogue about sobriety at BC and how it doesn’t have to be limiting. I am still able to participate in the BC social life, and while at times it has been very hard being the only sober person at a party, I would not change my decision for anything, as it has greatly benefited me. I have grown as a person and learned to socialize without alcohol (when drinking is all you are used to it’s harder than you may think). Yes, there have been awkward encounters but at the end of the night chances are you are going to be the only person who remembers them. Even though it’s scary, taking a break from drinking may have been the best thing I have ever done for myself. I was able to stop destructive behavior before it became too big to address. It’s important to realize that just because you decide to take a break from alcohol, it does not mean that it has to be a permanent state. Taking a hiatus from drinking for me was about finally addressing my problems and no longer hiding behind alcohol.
I hope that those reading this article realize that it’s okay to need help, as I certainly needed it. Looking back, it’s amazing how much happier I am now than I used to be and that is solely because I finally got the help I needed. A few months can make an incredible difference in your life, and the last 4 months have certainly changed mine. I am now in a place where I am comfortable enough with who I am and how to deal with my problems that I no longer would look to alcohol as an escape. I am incredibly lucky for the friends who have been my support group through it all and I have no doubt there are other great friends like them at BC. If your friend needs help, please be there for them. They are looking for the support to better themselves and fix themselves, but this is something that can’t be done alone. My final sentiment regarding sobriety is don’t be judgmental. If you are sober, don’t judge those who are drinking. They may simply be having a good time and they don’t need help, not everyone does. That works in reverse as well. As a community we need to not judge those who don’t drink, at the end of the day it is no one’s business but one’s own.
I urge everyone who thinks they may need help to get it. Being sober is not nearly as terrifying as you imagine it to be and you will never regret looking out for your own best interest.
Photo Sources:
http://www.designofsignage.com/application/symbol/building/largesymbols/no-alcohol.html
http://www.local-shopping-reit.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/05/Alcohol-Party.jpg
http://insteprecoveryservices.com/drug-alcohol-rehab-peru-indiana-treatment-center-withdrawal/