It’s what you’ve all been waiting for – the return of the sass queen herself, Mindy.
The Mindy Project returned to Hulu just in time for an amazing girls night. My bestie and I dropped all our homework, who needs a 4.0 anyways and snuggled up to watch it.( Yes, I am someone who thinks I’m actually BFFs with TV characters, and yes, I sometimes cry…Don’t pretend you don’t too!)
I originally intended to write about the quirky new updates of the episode, but after watching my feminism side couldn’t help but wonder about how often TV shows are casting abusive boyfriends. While there are plenty of swoon-worthy and husband material guys, often I am left feeling hesitant and questioning if some of these boyfriends are way worse than just stinky boyfriends. Don’t get me wrong, I hate every guy my best friends date and want to ensure all of them live up to my best friends’ awesomeness. That being said, there’s something extremely different between a loveless relationship, a disinterested bae*, or a cheating jerk. TV shows often depict abusive boyfriends, but since it is emotional abuse we are all often blind to how awful certain relationships are to one’s mental health and well-being. I can’t help but wonder what this does to our understanding of healthy relationships, whether consciously or unconsciously…
The Mindy Project points this out with ex-fiance Danny. He constantly tries to control Mindy. He doesn’t just have an opinion on Mindy’s choices, but he believes he has the right to control them. He finds not issue demanding she become a stay at home mom or guilt-tripping her for every career choice as neglect to their child. While the father of your child has a right to an opinion on the upbringing of your child, he has no right to try to impose his thoughts on every action you take. Someone trying to manipulate you to agree with all their choices through holding your child over your head is not love or respectful, and it is definitely not someone how your significant other act. Not only this, but Danny is famous for his “I slipped” episode where he claims he accidentally penetrated Mindy from behind. Having consulted multiple guys and a sexual assault police officer on this topic, all have confirmed that it is impossible to slip due to multiple factors. Rape does not only happen behind a dark alley, or when someone drugs your drink. The majority of rapes are by people the victim knows, and rape also occurs in relationships and marriages. Taking advantage of someone because you are in a relationship is not only toxic but also abusive.
The Mindy Project isn’t the only show where the significant other were terrible and enter the arena of abusive. Before Pam entered into her envious relationship with Jim on The Office, she dated a guy on the show who was emotionally abusive to her. He stifled all her ideas and told her she’d fail at art school when she shared she was interested in design. He wouldn’t accompany her to any social events, and when they attempted to get back together he got so angry while out with her he threw his drink and ended up smashing a mirror in the restaurant. Anger management is a huge issue in abusive relationships, and that type of anger, justified or not, should never be directed at a significant other.
Let’s not forget Dan for Gossip Girl. He literally spent his entire high school, college, and young adult life blogging and using other social media outlets to share private details of his “love” Serena as he hid behind the mask of Gossip Girl. No significant other should be sharing personal details of your life with anyone, let alone the entire would just in order to provoke an emotional response from you. If your significant other cannot keep up in your world without tearing yours down, that person does not belong in your life.
Other abusive TV relationships include, but are not limited to, Stabler in SVU, Alex in Orange in the New Black, Helga in Hey Arnold ( shrines are NOT okay), Enough,Men Don’t Tell,When No One Would Listen, Gaslight, and Whats Love Got to Do With It.
Sources:
http://langdonnation.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/Breaking-News-Comic.jpg
http://gottawatchit.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/MD-Fight.jpg
http://cdn.playbuzz.com/cdn/416ca139-2881-4133-8421-cd7f183b9ec8/dd459bd…