Relationships can be a tricky topic for college students. Sometimes your love interest may live on the other side of the country or go to a college a thousand miles away. If that’s the case, you may not be sure if an LDR (long-distance relationship) is actually plausible or worth the struggle. Even if your potential boy does go to BC, dating on campus is the ultimate faux pas… next to upchucking at MA’s. Can any boy really be worth these types of commitment?
Let’s find out…
Part I:Â Long-Distance Relationship
So it’s mid-August and you’ve just enjoyed a solid three months of laying on the beach, working on your tan, and getting some well-deserved rest and relaxation. And by rest and relaxation I mean slaving away at an unpaid, part-time internship, working a minimum wage job on the side, and fitting in eating, sleeping, and working out… somewhere. Well, sometime in that somewhere, you met a major cutie at the gym that you’re totally into and he most definitely likes you back. Too good to be true, right? The only problem is whether to make your fling official. You leave for BC in three weeks and he’s off to Notre Dame (but we won’t hold that against him).Â
Do you pull the cord or tie the knot?
I interviewed some collegiettes™ here at BC with long-distance relationships to get an idea of the pros and cons of the ever feared LDR.
The Good:
Appreciate your boyfriend more since you see him less. This is pretty self-explanatory. If you only get to see your boy toy on school breaks and periodic visits, the time you spend with him will seem more important.
You can go out with your friends without worrying about what he’s doing. There’s no need to divide your time between your friends and your boyfriend. If it’s a Saturday afternoon and you want to go get mani/pedis with your roomies, you don’t need to feel bad for blowing off your boy or leaving him without plans.
You have someone to talk about everything with. Let’s be honest, sometimes people at BC may get on your nerves. Instead of discussing the problem with a fellow Eagle and risking that it will get back to the person, you can just talk to your boyfriend. Who’s he going to tell anyways?
You get letters, packages, flowers, sweet just-because gifts. Package Receipt Notification e-mails just got more exciting (if possible).Â
Boyfriends from fun places = vacation! So maybe your boyfriend isn’t one from home, instead you met him at an internship or a conference. No matter where he’s from, going to visit him will be new and exciting. Vacation, anyone?
The Bad:
Hard to talk enough since you’re basically in separate worlds. Between your differing class schedules, meetings, and nap times, finding time to talk on the phone or Skype may be difficult. After a week of texting, it’d be nice to hear his voice.
During school, you have to travel to see him. This may be an expensive trip depending on whether you need to fly. Plus, who has time for frequent weekend getaways?
Some people don’t respect the LDR. You may still get hit on at parties and girls may still flirt with him regardless of whether or not a significant other exists. This is somewhat stressful in both regards because you don’t want to worry about him all the time and you don’t want him to feel like he needs to worry about you.
Difficult to manage family time and boyfriend time when you’re home. If your boyfriend is from home, then it can be hard to pull yourself away on school breaks to visit your family. You’ve been apart for months and you just want to spend all the time you can with him, but mom isn’t too happy that she hasn’t seen you yet…
When it comes down to it, you need to decide whether you want to work on the relationship to make it successful. An LDR isn’t for everyone, but according to these collegiettes™, it is definitely possible. Don’t let your fears or preconceived notions about a long-distance relationship scare you out of giving it a chance and good luck with the ND gym cutie!
Maybe the distance isn’t your problem. Maybe you’re more concerned with the fact that captain cutie does go to BC, which brings me to Part II…
Part II:Â BC Boy
It’s your sophomore year at BC and the impossible just happened: you were asked on a date. A sober, go-out-to-dinner-and-don’t-have-to-pay, tell-your-mom-about-it date. You don’t even care if people at BC actually go on dates. You may indeed be the first, but that doesn’t even matter because it’s happening. Even more to your surprise, it went flawlessly and you’ve been on three more dates with this keeper since that historic moment.Â
But is he a keeper? Is it kosher to have a boyfriend on BC’s campus? Some BC gals think it is and have shared some pros and cons of dating a fellow Boston College student.
The Good:
Get to see him as much as possible. This is pretty obvious but it’s still great. You don’t even need to bother yourself with driving to see your boyfriend. Just make the five minute walk to Gabelli and voila!
Don’t have to participate in the hook-up culture. Although some people may enjoy the hook-up culture, it does get a little old after a while. Plus, it’s nice having a guy that actually cares about you and even remembers your name.
You can meet a new group of people. Between his roommates and friends, you can get to know a group of people you may have never met.
Always have someone to go to on campus. Sometimes you’re really upset and need to talk to someone and a preoccupied roommate or a phone conversation with your mom just doesn’t cut it. In these situations, it’s really nice to know that you have a boyfriend just a walk away who can comfort you. A shoulder to cry on, if you will.
When you’re home, you can focus on seeing your friends and family. Instead of trying to divide your time between your boyfriend, friends, and family when you’re home for break, you can focus on spending time with your family and your friends from high school. Your boyfriend will be waiting at the Heights when you return.Â
Visiting him over the summer gives you an excuse to travel. Who cares if he lives in Montana and you can’t think of anything to actually do in Montana? You finally get to see all the things he’s been talking about all year and you get to explore a new area!
The Bad:
You need to find a balance between your boyfriend and your friends. You don’t want to turn into the “I’m too cool for my friends, I’m just going to hang out with my boyfriend” girl. On the other hand, you also don’t want to make your boyfriend feel like you forgot about him. Finding a balance could be more difficult than you originally planned.
Run out of things to talk about. Since you see him so much and he more or less experiences the same things you do, you may find that you hit a rut when trying to find things to talk about.
Disagree over what to do/where to go. It’s Friday night and Fridays are “together” night. You want to go to MA’s and he wants to watch the baseball game. Disagreements may lead to unnecessary arguments and leave one person unhappy with where they end up.
Are you getting a “real college experience”? College is supposed to be about hooking up and making drunken mistakes, right? You’re supposed to flirt and flaunt your stuff. Having a boyfriend may get in the way of these typical college occurrences.
Being apart over break seems more difficult since you’re used to spending so much time together. Summer may seem endless and by July, you could be wishing you were back with your boy. If visiting each other isn’t an option because of work or finances, these summer months will seem extra long.
If the pros outweigh the cons for you and you’re brave enough to break the norm, go for date-boy. If you’re more comfortable with your periodic hook-ups, that’s okay too. Just keep in mind that dating a fellow Eagle is definitely a possibility. These collegiettes™ make it work and as it turns out, you won’t be the only one on campus with a boyfriend who actually goes to BC!
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So there you have it; both long distance relationships and on-campus romances are possible for collegiettes™. Both have their difficulties but they’re definitely not unheard of in lovely Chestnut Hill. Now next time someone utters the dreadful “R” word, you don’t have to cringe in fear. Relationships? You can handle relationships. Just keep in mind the pros and cons of the situation and decide what’s best for you!
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Sources:
Boston College Students
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Photo Sources:
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