Despite the whirlwind that is my celebrity-style life, I spent most of my summer weekends kicking butt and taking BC ID’s at the Plex. However, seeing people’s old high school glamour shots pop up on the screen wasn’t the only perk. The Plex Guardian. A glorified bouncer. Chick at the front desk. Although I answer to many of these pseudonyms, my true calling lies in the title “Swipe Girl.” You know me, you love me. I am a campus symbol. A mogul, if you will.
Here is how to unlock the fruits of my success:
First, familiarize yourself with the “Interwebs” and its bountiful cornucopia of useless information. For example, “Netflix,” otherwise known as “My date tonight.” It takes a special kind of finesse to watch a Dreamworks special of Emperor’s New Groove while maintaining eye-contact with the morning’s freshest helicopter parent. No, I do not know if a Jesuit can pardon a thanksgiving turkey, nor the logistics of the intramural fencing team. Apologies.
Second, learn to take awkward compliments in stride. Getting told you have “kind eyes” and a “great swipe” may sound like every girl’s dream. However, be strong despite the sweet talk and maintain a professional composure. There are plenty of fish in the sweaty Plex sea, but that doesn’t mean you have to swoon for every undergrad hunk in a lax summer tank.
Thirdly, expect your social life to expand into the circles of the Plex frequenters. People will approach you at parties and say, “You work at the Plex, right?” To which the obvious response is the ever-enthusiastic, “Sure.” You’ll also encounter some hefty pickup lines amongst a handful of Boston College suitors. These include, but are not limited to, “You swiped me in really well today, you enjoying the party?” Face it, you are popular now. Everyone is going to want a duck-face selfie with Swipe Girl at late night. Just remember, no special favors. Only Brad Bates gets more than two strikes after forgetting his ID.
With great swipe comes great responsibility. Stay fit my friends.
XOXO,
Swipe Girl
Photo Source:
http://www.bc.edu/offices/rec/about-us/facilities.html
http://imgur.com/gallery/WvPCV
http://www.buzzfeed.com/erikaturner/whats-the-most-awkward-compliment-youve-ever-received