Entering college with a relationship from high school is one of the most difficult things when starting a new chapter of your life. Most people will be doubtful and tell you “It won’t last”, “why waste your time”, or “you will be tied down in college”. These may be true for some, but most certainly not all. College can still be your time to flourish and grow individually, with a long distance significant other. I am here to offer some tips and insights on how I manage and grow from my long-distance relationship in college.
Communication is Key
Communication is everything in a relationship, especially when you can’t always be together. It is important to feel comfortable communicating your thoughts and feelings with each other. It is best to be open and honest with each other to avoid miscommunications. If something feels off or not right it is important to communicate those types of things to them, so that they know to make a change. These conversations might seem hard, but they are important to have with each other so that both of you can grow from it.
Talking about your feelings is also beneficial because if you don’t ever talk about how you feel, the other person will not know how they are making you feel. I feel that since being long distance, my communication with my boyfriend has improved greatly because now we are being forced into new situations and we are forced to have meaningful conversations around them.
Communication is also helpful in the sense that it makes your S.O. feel like they are with you. Updating your S.O. about your day can give them a nice glimpse into what your new life is like, while showing them that you care enough to tell them about it.
TRUST
If you have nothing else, at least have trust. It is the base of your relationship, and you need it if you want to succeed. It is important to communicate boundaries with one another so that you can grow and build more and more trust in each other.
MAKE time for each other
Making time for you and your significant other might sound difficult, but once you get into the routines of college, it gets easier. It is important to learn each other’s schedules so that you can plan a time to talk. It might even be as small as 5 minutes but trust me it will mean the world just to hear their voice. Plus, it shows that you are putting in the effort to make time for them in your busy day. My boyfriend and I have found times during our days to call, and it gives us something to look forward to during the week. I have learned that some days just don’t work, no matter how hard we try to find time to talk our schedules are opposite, and that is okay. Not every day is going to work out, so just plan to talk on another day so it gives you something to look forward to. Â
Start Planning when you can see each other next
It is fun to look ahead to the next break or vacation you are taking for school because it can get you excited to see your significant other. It sounds stupid, but sometimes thinking ahead can get you so excited for the future to come. Planning what you are going to do once you get home or see each other can make you both so happy. I know my boyfriend and I planned not only when we would see each other on break, but what meals we could cook together (since the food at college isn’t very good).
Find small things that make you both happy
I find that it is important to find small things that make each other happy. Try to find little things that don’t take much out of your day but mean the world to each other. For example, you can write letters so that it is something to look forward to receiving in the mail. Plus, letters just come across as much more meaningful. Another idea would be sending care packages. This isn’t something you need to spend a ton of money on, it is more the idea that you are thinking of them that counts. Plus, when you don’t tell them that you sent them something in the mail, they are so surprised by it and their surprised but happy reaction makes it all worth it.
Think about the future
Personally, I like to think and imagine what my life is like after college with my boyfriend. It gets me excited about what the future holds and what is to come in life. I think about how even though we may be apart right now in college, after college we can live together, and all of this long distance will be worth it.
I hope these ideas, in one way or another, helped you with your long-distance relationships!