Success means so many different things to so many different people. The difficulty of this is that often we find ourselves subject to other’s standards; making it feel absolutely impossible to measure up. But do you know what I have learned recently? The beauty of the completely ambiguous definition of “success”, is that you get to define what it means to you.
I had always been a person who needed to live up to everyone else’s definitions of success. Academically, physically, socially, athletically, morally, and in every other way that I could think of. Constantly chasing an ideal that wasn’t mine, and being the person, I thought everyone else wanted me to be. Living by other’s definitions of success is exhausting and eventually something is going to break.
What I have come to realize is that the true measure of success doesn’t come from external validation; it comes from how you feel about yourself and what is important to you. Success is personal and can’t be taken away from you just because it doesn’t align with everyone else’s definition. The biggest mindset change for me was realizing the small actions, or the ones you don’t take credit for, often mean far more to me than anything else.
Many times, the pressure to succeed doesn’t even come from comparing ourselves to others but from the high expectations we set for ourselves. Even when the ones we love validate us, we still feel like there is some unattainable standard we are supposed to be meeting. This self-inflicted pressure can be the most detrimental because it creates a cycle of needing more, and never feeling good enough, even when you achieve your goals.
So many of us are obsessed with perfection, but the truth is perfection is so theoretical and so subjective. It is far more important to be true to yourself and work to be the best version of you. Your goals and your wants are just as important and just as “successful” as anyone else’s.
My mindset is still a work in progress, and I can’t claim to never care about what others think, but I can claim that I am doing better at prioritizing me. Spending time on the things and the people that matter to me, and not constantly trying to appease everyone else.
Playing the part of someone you are not, is a really hard way to go through life and means you spend a lot of time doing things you don’t want to be doing. Being true to yourself is not only easier, its empowering.