Since I was 8, I can’t remember many moments where I didn’t have a headache. I used to go to the nurse’s office at my elementary school and cry while clutching my head. It got really bad when I had to go to the emergency room on Memorial Day in 2010. I was having my worst migraine to date, and my mom had to rush to the ER to meet me and my dad after pulling my brother from his parade for the middle school band.
I don’t remember much from the ER. I remember they gave me a bag of toys filled with Beanie Babies, silly putty, and little toys I could fidget with. They talked to my parents out in the hallway and then had to perform a spinal tap – inserting a needle in my lower back to collect a sample of the fluid down there. I never really understood the full procedure, I just remember that it really hurt. My mom held my hand when they did it while I cried.
I was out of school for the next week. I missed our school trip to Lexington and Concord, where everyone else learned about the Revolutionary War. I remember feeling really left out – I was just stuck at home, watching TV and eating Oreos with my mom. My class sent me a get well card, and I was back by the next week.
That’s when I started seeing a neurologist. I described my headaches as feeling like a fly was circling around in my head. I remember thinking that maybe a fly was actually stuck in my brain. But the neurologist could never figure out what was wrong, even after so many visits to the doctor and an MRI.
After a while, I just accepted that this was my life and learned how to deal with it – cold compresses, Advil (the capsule type), and lots of water. This worked throughout middle school and high school – I wasn’t feeling too stressed and I got a relatively good amount of sleep every night (minus the occasional late night assignment). But after my freshman year of college, things started to change. I was sleeping less because I was out late or up studying, I was stressed about moving in, making friends, and getting good grades, and taking good care of myself fell on the back burner. In other words, my 8 hours of sleep, healthy diet and exercise, and 8 glasses of water turned into 4 AM nights, dining hall food, and Red Bulls.
By the summer before my junior year, I was bedridden with migraines. They would strike in the early afternoon and linger for hours – sometimes all day. I would constantly call out of work and cancel plans with friends to lay in bed with the lights off and an icepack on my head instead. My life was miserable.
This is when I started seeing a neurologist again. She quickly started me on a medication that many migraine patients used. However, after increasing the dose time after time, we realized that my migraines were worse than most and would require a different course of treatment before I experienced any relief. For a year and a half, we tried different combinations and dosages of beta blockers and antidepressants – both used to prevent migraines. However, by the fall semester of my junior year, I’d made little progress and my migraines were not giving up. My last resort was injections.
Once a month, I inject myself with a 30-day dose of a medication called Ajovy. It looks similar to an EpiPen and is administered the same way – it just prevents migraines instead of anaphylactic shock. For my first injection, I had to hold my roommate’s hand while my boyfriend injected me in the thigh – I was just way too scared to do it myself and I might’ve shed a few tears. By the second time, I still had to hold my roommate’s hand but this time I injected myself (and my eyes only watered this time). By month three, I was injecting myself with just a slight wince.
My migraines still aren’t perfect, but they’re a lot better. I get migraines much less frequently, I don’t have to take as much Advil, and I don’t have to cancel plans anymore because my head hurts. I feel like I finally have my life back.
My journey with migraines is not meant to be the perfect solution to every migraine patients’ symptoms – and it certainly is not the only solution out there. However, no matter the severity or the treatment of your migraines, don’t forget that things can always change. Your migraines might become less severe with age, time, diet, and location. Life is constantly changing, so your migraines will too. Just keep your head held high!