In 1969, Swiss psychiatrist Elisabeth Kübler-Ross introduced the concept of the Kübler-Ross model, or the five stages of grief experienced by an individual going through a traumatic loss. This model can applicable to any difficult period of time, be it loss or adjusting to change.
…Or your inability to evenly draw on winged eyeliner.
It’s okay, we have all been there. We’re convinced that watching one more Instagram makeup guru with a spoon, tape, and determination will somehow transfer their skills to us in some sort of warped form of makeup osmosis. Some nights, all of the Q-tips and makeup remover in the world can’t seem to help. So the next time you’re ready to throw all of your eyeliner down the toilet and smash a mirror or two, take a breath and process your grief.
1. Denial
The first reaction is denial. In this stage, we believe that the inevitable is somehow mistaken and cling to a false, preferable reality. Tonight is going to be different. This is going to be the beach-themed frat party where your eyeliner really pops. It won’t take 20 times to draw two simple lines, and they’re going to be perfectly even. Maybe you’ll even take a selfie featuring just how perfect they are.
2. Anger
This is when we recognize that denial cannot continue, become frustrated, and lash out at those around us. Update: you’re on your twenty-first attempt and it’s just not happening. You’ve wiped off your eyeliner so much that the corners of your eyes are bright red. Why did your best friend’s makeup come out so perfectly? How is that fair? You don’t deserve this. You’re a good person.
3. Bargaining
And now the begging begins. The third stage involves the hope that you can avoid grief in exchange for a reformed lifestyle. You find yourself making sacrifices to the patron saint of eyeliner, and it isn’t pretty. If this next attempt goes well, you’ll only go out once a week. You’ll limit yourself to a drink a night. You’ll stop opening the 70% off Forever 21 emails!
4. Depression
This is when despair kicks in. You can’t possibly go out looking like this. You are already fully dressed, but you would be happy to crawl back into a pair of sweatpants, take pictures for everyone, and then nurse a glass of wine while you watch Netflix and have an existential crisis about your eyeliner.
5. Acceptance
You know what? Who cares if one line is hardly a centimeter long and the other reaches your eyebrow. So what if they’re more than a little wobbly? You’re going to have a great time with your friends, and even if your eyeliner came out perfectly, you’d sweat it off in the shuttle room anyways. You are officially at peace with the world.
…Until you do it all over again next weekend.
Photo Source: 1