The day before my 20th birthday I had a minor panic attack about getting older. Despite twenty not being amongst the traditional milestone birthdays, it felt like a milestone for me. Being ‘in your twenties’ starts to feel a bit serious really, doesn’t it? Or does it?
The media has decided for us that ‘30 is the new 20’. Apparently, your twenties aren’t really a decade anymore because 20 isn’t the ‘new’ anything. According to society your twenties are basically an extended adolescence. You mess about a bit, maybe try to start sorting a career out and either date around or stay with your current boyfriend who’s not great but it doesn’t matter because ‘it’s not like we’ll get married or anything’. Yes, it’s fine guys; everything gets sorted in your thirties. No need to worry, I’ll get married at 30, and have my children in my thirties and by 30 I’ll have a half decent job sorted. I’m only 20, pass me the vodka, lets get drunk and worry about being a grown up in a few years time. The only issue is, what happens when you get to 30 and none of these life-changing events have been planned for?
I like to spend a lot of time on twitter when I’m avoiding thinking about a career/life/why I’m single/being in my twenties. I am not ashamed to admit that I think twitter is brilliant, especially when your followers present you with little gems like Dr Meg Jay’s TED talk; ‘Why 30 is not the new 20’. TED talks are designed to challenge interesting thinkers to share their wisdom with the rest of the world in less than 20 minutes. Jay’s was amazing and inspired me to read her book; ‘The Defining Decade: Why Your Twenties Matter and How to Make the Most of Them Now.’
I could write about Jay’s book for a long, long, time. It is beyond brilliant. However, I think you should read it for yourself and take from it what you need. So rather than praising it for another 500 words I will summarize Jay’s book into 3 reasons why 20 is the new 20.
- Jay tells opens her book with this statistic; ‘by age thirty-five 80% of life’s most significant events have taken place’. So lets just break this down, if by thirty-five 80% of the most significant events have taken place, I’m just not *sure* that all of these events will be happening in the five years between 30 and 35. So basically, our twenties are actually pretty important.
- Our 20’s are ‘life’s critical period’ it’s the only time we can ‘mould our personalities’. Jay explains that during your twenties is an ‘up in the air’ and ‘turbulent’ time, but says that despite this and the uncertainty and anxiety our twenties bring, we can achieve more than at any other stage of life while setting the foundations for the type of life we want.
- Our twenties are a time to build up our ‘identity capital’ – it’s FINE that our generation does everything a bit later, that isn’t actually the issue – but use the pre-serious-lifestyle years to give yourself a hand when you do want things to get serious. For example, Jay explains that it is okay to be unsure about what you want to do in your career, but use the time your 20’s offers to choose work or experiences that will enhance your C.V.
I am only 20. You may feel that I have just lectured you on something that I am not actually qualified in, partly because I’ve only lived about 7 months of my 20’s as of yet. However, because of reading this book I feel like I’m going to live the next 9 years and 5 months in a better and more productive way. Jay’s style is a tiny bit panic-inducing but with an underlying tone of comfort; she tells you how it is and what you’ve got to address while providing anecdotes of her clients experiences that soothe you, reminding you that you are not the only one worried about where to go next. Since reading ‘The Defining Decade’ my perspective on being 20 feels refreshed. Don’t get me wrong, I still panic, a lot, but I also know more about what I’m aiming for and little more about how to get there so 20 and beyond is feeling slightly less scary. I urge you to read the book, oh, and spend less time on Facebook because I’m convinced time spent on it correlates with feeling like your life is going nowhere, but that’s a whole different story.