It’s the Monday after Ivies, and you’re finally realizing that the most-anticipated event of every Bowdoin student’s spring is over. The glorious festivities of last week have ended, and students have put their noses to the grindstone once again. As you sit and reflect fondly on your memories (or lack thereof) from the past week, you feel the loss begin to sink in…
1. And then you try to revive your Ivies spirit by day-drinking on Monday, thinking, ‘I refuse to quit! There is no way you can make me stop!’
2. And when your friends judge you for your aforementioned day-drinking, you think, ‘You’re just jealous you’re not as awesome as I am.’
3. But you inevitably reach your limit midway through class, and you can feel a noticeable decline in your energy level.
4. And then your professor asks you a question about the assigned reading that you definitely did not complete.
5. If you miraculously answer the question correctly, you’re probably imagining a victorious trumpet fanfare.
6. However, if you answer the question incorrectly, you may attempt to sweetly brush your answer off as a brain blip.
7. And when the cutie in class gives you a weird look, you feel like dying inside, but you manage to just grimace.
8. After class, you head off to practice, and someone passes to you; but you fumble miserably, because Ivies.
9. At dinner, you realize the dining hall might be serving their normal menus (read: not 100% comfort foods) again, and you’re thrilled to finally have some healthy food options.
10. But then you see the guy you awkwardly danced with on Saturday, and you attempt to draw as little attention to yourself as possible.
11. You camp out in the library to try and catch up on work, but you panic when you realize how much you have due this week.
12. So you head back to your room to de-stress, but your roommate decides to show you some of your embarrassing photos from the concert.
13. And when your she tries to teach you the right way to clean the room, you lose your patience.
14. You realize how woefully unprepared you are for the rest of the semester.
15. And you decide that the best way to cope is to go to bed and deal with your problems later. Because that’s what Ivies is all about, right?