Q: As a queer guy here at Bowdoin I find it hard to date people. Not for the fact that there aren’t enough queer students at Bowdoin, but due to the fact there aren’t a lot of men interested in having a relationship. The hook up culture is so strong at Bowdoin, both in the queer community as well as the heterosexual community because it’s quicker and easier. I like to get to know a person before I become intimate with them. I don’t want to compromise my beliefs, but I want to date. What should I do?
A: It’s hard to date at a small school like Bowdoin—period. Because college is a place for many people to mature and grow-up, you find many people who are not ready for a serious commitment or who even understand what it means to date. Like you said, the hook up culture is strong—yet it’s not just a Bowdoin thing. It just seems more prevalent here because our population is smaller compared to other schools. The only thing you can do is to continue being yourself, which means getting to know people. In these situations, it is easy to give up and close yourself off. However, this will not get you any closer to what you want. I am not guaranteeing you will find happiness with someone by the end of your time at Bowdoin, but at least you might discover what kind of qualities you do v. you don’t like from a potential partner. Also, don’t limit yourself to Bowdoin. Sometimes, it is best—depending on whom you are—to date outside of your school environment because it can limit the drama that can result by dating someone you see all the time. So, use this as a time to get to better know yourself and what qualities you want in a partner. By doing this, when the time comes, you will better know if you are wasting your time with this person or if you should spend time getting to know him better.
Photos:
http://kiki.typepad.com/kiki/images/2008/01/27/iwantyou.jpg
This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Bowdoin chapter.